This email was a tough one for me because I strive for the experiences I share and the stories I tell to inspire hope in others. To let others know, "you are not in this alone". Maybe this email will do that, but maybe it won't. 

Do you remember being school-aged and having to miss a few days of school because you were out sick, and you came back and it felt like you had so much to catch up on?

That is how I feel more often than not. I often feel like I am ten steps behind everyone else, and can't keep pace to stay with the group. Does keeping up really matter? Maybe not, but it can be quite lonely walking slowly on your own.

Photo by Jessica Charles

This comes from a few places. When I first got sick in 2001, my mom had to pull me out of school (middle school is hard enough, add in a life-changing diagnosis and you're pretty much toast as far as a social life). When I finally came back 2 years later on a modified schedule, I felt like I had missed out on so much. If I'm speaking candidly, that feeling never truly went away. 

I've spent the last 17 years or so regularly missing out on important parts of life—missing friends' weddings, missing job opportunities, cancelling trips, or saying no to fun projects. Even when I am present, I feel like I've missed out on enough that it always feels like I am playing catch up. And even when I am present, it's usually with accommodations or compromises or contingencies in place. It's a solitary and invisible game to play. 

Because my hunch is that it's not just me. And it's not just about my personal life. It's about my professional life too. 

I spend my days supporting some of the most brilliant, driven, and dedicated creatives in our community today. There are days when I look around me and I feel so far behind because I am a reverse entrepreneur with 4 year old business that hasn't grown because I'm not present in it like I used to be. 

Oops, too much information?

Hopefully not! The truth is that my business shouldn't look like anyone else's because it isn't theirs. And I can't measure my success against anyone else's because our goals, our circumstances, our passions are not the same. 

I can celebrate their success, even when it's hard to, because it brings me joy. Their work is making the world a better place. And it doesn't diminish my worth one bit to see the worth in others. 

It's a gift to be able to practice that every day. Some days I do it better than others, but I think this is what #communityovercompetition looks like for this painter turned community support manager. 

If any of this strikes a chord with you, I'd love to hear from you. Let's talk.

Loving the look of this email? Try Flodesk for yourself!