'Tis the season. Maybe you are tree decorating. Or you are holiday card addressing. Or you're gift wrapping. Or you're cooking. Or you're working overtime. Or you're volunteering. Or you're frantically entering coupon codes. (Or you're not doing any of that which is okay, I promise.) It's a lot. I know. It feels like there is so much to get done in December and then we blink and it's over.
So. Here I am, in your crowded inbox, with one more thing to "do" this month. Here's the good news though, it costs no money. You don't need any product. You can do it in one sitting. You can do it over the course of a month. You can sit down with your partner and discuss. Or you can sit quietly with a journal and draft.
I am talking about reflection.
Just two questions. What did you do in 2019? And then, after you have thought through all the facts—How do you feel?
Here are my (lightly edited for general public consumption) answers.
What did I do?
We sold our first house. We moved to a new house. We spent over 100 days living through a renovation. I cut my hair super short. I obsessed over my two of four garden beds that thrived. I launched a book! I sewed and knitted some fun and challenging stuff. I found that parenting my kids (while there are hard days) got easier as they learned how to play together.
And also: Paul worked a lot of weekends. My income slowed. I had a entirely new business idea that lost steam. I very rarely got my heart rate up. I spent so much time on my phone.
How do I feel?
On the whole: good. I am proud of most of 2019. We had a big year, loved each other well and got a lot done. But I also feel what I can only describe as "unsettled." Half of the house looks like we just moved in. As I type this, my driveway is getting jack-hammered so my garage will hopefully stop gathering puddles when it rains. I have a warehouse full of product I need to move home. Paul will, of course, be deploying in a few months. I don't know how any of this is going to go and that makes me feel...off. (Also, as a sidenote, I am so tired of clicking from app to app on my phone.)
The most important part of your reflection is that you are honest. Nobody has to see this. You don't have to filter or censor. (You don't have to send out a newsletter.) You can't win or lose at feelings. You get to feel how you feel.
And the value this exercise is to get a baseline so that we can (if necessary!) make changes and continue to grow in the upcoming year. I have been letting my answer to "how do I feel?" percolate for a few weeks and it's helped me figure out what I want more and less of in 2020. I am currently working on setting actionable, meaningful goals that are based on what I really need and want. (More soon.)
If we don't do this — if we don't sit down and reflect — we will keep setting the same predictable "resolutions" based on who we were at age 20 or who we thought we would be at age 34 or a vague sense of what we "should be doing."
So this week, or next week, or December 31st, (or whenever; January 1 is just one of 365 start dates) take a minute. Answer my two questions. I'll be back in your inbox soon to talk about what comes next. (Spoiler alert: the second part is more fun.)
