It's a beautiful, calm morning in our little corner of Lancashire, the kind we treasure, take note of and hold onto in mid-January when the gale-force winds* arrive...
... which leads me on nicely to what I want to share with you today!
Very simply, someone asked me "what did you achieve this week?" and it gave me a real boost.
It was in a Facebook group; the community rose to it gladly and I think we surprised ourselves with our answers. It got me thinking about one my favourite things; building self-belief.
We're taught not to brag. It's not polite, not the done thing. It's brash and show-off-y. To me, talking about what I've done well always felt like 'bragging', and so growing up (especially as one of the quieter ones), I easily developed the habit of downplaying my wins "it was easy, anyone could do it" "It was nothing". Sound familiar?
It ain't braggin' if you done it.
A few years ago we had this quote up on the wall in the office and I rolled my eyes each time I went past. Whatever. I just didn't get it at all.
And then a few things came together for me; taking time to work with a coach on my own self-doubt/self-belief, starting out in business and going to networking events where I had to tell people about successes, studying NLP and suddenly understanding why it's ok essential to own our achievements in order to build self-belief... aha! It really isn't braggin' if you done it! Let's re-frame it as simply sharing. Feel better?
(I wrote more about it here, last year around the time it dawned on me; it feels so long ago now! And yes Lighten Up is still available!)
So, why is it essential to own / talk about / record our achievements?
We build self-belief when we notice what we can do, and we solidify those things by writing them down, or telling others. In doing this, we build evidence to look back over when we need a boost, and over time we change our in-built filter to look for more positive evidence that we can do it!
On the other hand, we build self-doubt by noticing what we can't do, solidifying those things and building evidence of our perceived failures, again filtering for additional proof of the same; we can't do it...
Let me ask you then, if you knew it wasn't bragging to tell the world what you've done this week, what would you share?
I would share this:
I planted up a beautiful new corner of our garden with bamboo and grasses. I designed it myself, worked hard digging out the clay, barrowing in topsoil and spreading mulch. It looks peaceful and amazing,.
I hosted a truly wonderful workshop, got really comfortable with my content, met some lovely people and I know they had a great day with me.
I was patient and kind with my son as he went through a wobble, finding a calm I didn't know I had, keeping a strong connection with him, and allowing him to find his own way back to ok-ness.
How about you? I would love to hear your achievements! Email me back or share on my Facebook page. Or simply write them down for yourself, at the end of each day or each week. Own them, they are truly yours, and there will be more, each and every week. Remember that small victories count too!
Building self-belief really can be this simple.
* If you saw me live on Facebook last week talking about the Circle of Concern you'll know I subscribe to 'no such thing as bad weather', and there really is huge joy to be found in gale-force winds, when experienced from somewhere safe. That doesn't mean I don't have a preference for days like today!
Have a wonderful week, I'll see you back here soon.
Thank you for inviting me into your inbox, it's a real privilege to be here.
As ever, stay curious!
P.S. This week I'm reading Letters to the Lost (Iona Grey) recommended by a dear friend; a beautiful story set in 1943 and 2011. And also Untamed by Glennon Doyle, after stumbling into an online book club last week; a happy accident resulting in a fab evening last Thursday with four amazing women I'd never have met otherwise!
P.P.S. I'm going to re-run my Vision Board workshop following a flurry of new enquiries, plus I'm writing two more workshops. One will be around being ok with uncertainty, and one around building self-belief. I will share them in my regular letters as well as sending out more details in dedicated workshop launch emails. Click here to get on the list for that.
P.P.P.S. If you've been forwarded this letter by a friend and you'd like to read more you can subscribe just here...