A mother and a daughter cannot have a healthy relationship without moving through life like they are on a three way highway. 




Continue reading to be inspired...

Imagine life with your teen daughter as a three way highway going one way. 


In the far left lane is just YOU; your dreams, your experiences, your, people, your lessons, your purpose. 


On the far right, is your daughter's lane. 

The one that holds HER dreams, experiences, people, lessons and ultimately, her purpose. 

We could call each of  your lanes a place of expansion and growth.


Yet, once in a while, you both meet in the middle lane. 

So what is the middle lane?

Here, you find each other's opinions, compromise, shared values and intentions and most of all FAMILY!


Lets call this a place of contraction and collaboration. 


Many believe that once our girls become teens that they are learning to separate from their family of origin.

This is only a Half Truth

They actually need you more than ever Mama.

Yes, their friends play a new role and  influence in their lives, but they are not the only ones that should direct their futures. 

That's like the Blind Leading the Blind

Yes, they are driving in their own lane, yes they should be going in their own direction, as should you! 

You know about those mothers who lose themselves at this stage , the ones who raise their girls in an unhealthy and overly involved way. 

And So Mama.....

Both women should  retreat to the middle lane often.  To a place of security, a place where they can share ideas and insecurities. 


This should also be a safe enough space to reach out for YOUR experiences and how YOU worked through hardship when you were her age.


A place where you can hear how your daughter is doing and what her needs are. 

 Don’t let your daughter drive on her own lane for very long during this stage. Hold her often, create space for her to express.


And remember, share YOUR experiences too.  If you're looking how to do this in a way where she will truly listen, and would love a bit of guidance ..


This is the relationship that we need to build with our daughters, the ones that last a lifetime. 


Women need to come together, and what better way to do that than with each other.


Our meeting is not by chance.

I'm so grateful to learn from you Mindful Mama!


 Xo, Illanith