Epic Family,
I’m sure I’m not the only one who recognizes that there has been less joy in this season. So many of the things we used to enjoy have been taken from us. While those things have remained absent to a large extent, there have been other things present that bring us the opposite of joy. What do we do when pain and grief become a daily companion, while joy now seems like a good friend we used to have?
What if sorrow and joy aren’t as disconnected as they seem? What if, in some mysterious way, they actually go together? I want to lay out a vision for our joy. I think it’s a vision worth holding onto and it also might make all of our current pain worth it at some point. The following words come from Jesus as he was explaining to his disciples that he would soon be taken away from them.
John 16:20-22 Very truly I tell you, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy. A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world. So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy.
I love the vision Jesus gives us for a joy that no one will take away from us. And we wish we could be transported to that place of never-ending joy. But Jesus seems to indicate that grief is actually the path to that joy.
Here’s a confession from me: I don’t grieve well. What I do really well is give myself pep talks about remaining incredibly optimistic. What I also do well is self-protection. I don’t want to hurt or experience pain. But what if my only path to true joy comes by fully engaging with grief?
In Henri Nouwen’s Spiritual Formation, he has a chapter called, “From Sorrow to Joy.” I’ll share some of what he wrote in it, beginning with this:
“The question is not whether you have experienced loss, but rather how you live your losses. Are you hiding them? Are you pretending they aren’t real? Are you refusing to share them with your fellow travelers? Are you trying to convince yourself that your losses are little compared with your gains?”
“Better to mourn your losses than to deny them. Dare to feel your losses. Dare to grieve them. Name the pain and say, ‘Yes, I feel real pain, real fear, real loss; and I am going to embrace it. I will take up the cross of my life, and accept it.’ To grieve is to experience the pain of your life and face the dark abyss where nothing is clear or settled, where everything is shifting and changing. To fully grieve is to allow your losses to tear apart feelings of false security and safety and lead you to the painful truth of your brokenness and dependence upon God alone.”
We began with Jesus giving us a vision of joy that no one will take away. I want to end there too. Jesus says that our time of pain is like the pain a woman feels in childbirth. But when she sees that child, she forgets her anguish. What makes her forget that pain? JOY. So it will be with us. The Scriptures teach us that there was even joy in the most painful moment history has known - “For the joy set before him he endured the cross.” (see Hebrews 12:2)
Psalm 30:5 For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.
We are grieving. But something beautiful is going to be born out of this season. And then the experience of a joy we’ve yet to know. Here’s a word for us collectively as the Epic Church community:
“If your family or community is suffering, I want you to feel the pain together and find the joy hidden in the midst of the pain. I invite you to be together in the struggle.” - Nouwen
How are you living your losses?
Are you mourning your losses or denying them?
What might it look like for you to feel the pain with others in our community and to find the joy hidden in the midst of the pain?
We are in this together. May we commit ourselves to the life God has for us and our part to play within this Epic community.
I love you,
