As we arrive at the start of a fresh week I can't help thinking that the last 7 days have conspired to feel much longer than usual; a combination of the weather, a weirdly-planned diary and yet more changes in the outside world. Are you feeling this too? Hopefully you planned your week a little more smoothly than I did!
Following a weekend of rest and some cleverer diary management, I'm ready for a whole fresh week and all that it brings!
I'm starting this letter with an update on where I'm up to with some research I started recently... or rather, where I'm not up to. Because I think this is something that happens to all of us, at one time or another; the not-doing, the staying-stuck.
Getting super-clear on my work recently filled me with energy and new ideas; ways I can definitely help quiet women to step out of the constant questioning of self-doubt and move forward with confidence.
A group programme is top of my creation list. Just like deciding to run my Believe workshop last week, I have a deep knowing that this will be needed, welcomed, enjoyed and, best of all, useful! Just like I did for Believe, I know I have the experience and the tools I need to deliver a valuable group programme. And to add extra depth & relevance to this venture, I've been researching with some generous women who've shared their experience of self-doubt with me. So far, so good.
However... Over the last couple of years it's rare that I've been without my own coach, or mentor, or been in a learning-type-of-group myself (because I've realised how much better my own life and work are with this kind of support & personal development) and a conversation with my mentor this week made me realise where I'm really up to with my group programme. And that is... on hold. Stuck. Not moving forward.
Sure, I've had the idea and done the research and now I'm sat with it, doing precisely nothing. Does this sound familiar?
It was a real face-palm moment for me. I know this stuff. I talk all the time about how and why self-doubt holds us back, the stuckness and the circling pointlessly around our own heads. How am I in it? Well, because I'm human, and it's all a practice. And yes, this is why I keep people around who'll call me out on my own stuff!
When we are held back, it's almost always by a worry that's bigger than the motivation to move forwards; it's like a push-pull with the result that we go nowhere. And that's where I'm at. So, I've been journaling over the last few days to try and understand what's really going on with me (I highly recommend this whenever the answers aren't coming to you easily...)
I absolutely love the idea of creating my very own group coaching programme to help quiet women, BUT I'm worried that the idea of it will be so much better that the reality. I'm worried that the reality will be a watered down version; maybe it won't sell, maybe people will be disappointed; I'll let myself down.
Staying stuck feels safer than moving forwards.
Whilst I'm stuck, I'm not finding out if it works or doesn't work. I'm staying in the place where people are still interested in the idea and all possibilities are still open to me. This feels safe.
On the other hand, once I move forward, I'll find out what will actually happen. This feels less safe!
And of course, by remaining inert I'm totally missing out! I'm depriving myself (and you!) of the opportunity to run my first ever group, to prove I can do it, to learn from the inevitable glitches... and not only that, the inertia is exhausting, round and round in my head, and now I realise this, properly, I know I have to take the next step. Which needs to be a small step, to keep this safe and do-able (I'll talk about why in another letter, another week).
So this week will be the week I create a first draft. Small and do-able.
If you're stuck on something just now, I invite you to see what you might be keeping yourself safe from, and decide if the staying or the moving forward is what you really want; either is ok, you don't need to move forward with everything... but by choosing you'll free up a lot of energy!
I'd love to hear what this brings up for you; do hit reply to share with me!