At the start of shelter-in-place back in mid-March (remember mid-March?) I stopped taking my regular Pilates classes. All April long, I got emails from the studio: "We are online!" "Come take a class through Zoom!" "You can do Pilates in your living room!" "Sign up!" and I casually archived each one.
"I can't take Pilates from home." I told myself. "It won't be the same." I told myself. "Sounds like a hassle." I told myself. "Where will the girls be?" I asked myself.
And then in early May, after six weeks of refusing to open emails, I started to edit the story.
"Just take a class." I told myself. "It can't be that bad." I told myself. "The girls will be home." I told myself. "What else are you going to do on Sunday?" I asked myself.
I signed up. I pulled a yoga mat out of storage. I rolled it out in front of my computer. I logged onto Zoom.
Turns out Pilates from home is not the same. But it is a workout. It's a chance to stretch. It's often an opportunity to sweat. It's a 10 second commute. It's 50 guaranteed minutes where I am unable to scroll.
For much of May, I kept signing up, unrolling the mat and committing to a morning class. For much of May, those classes were interrupted by fixing bowls of cereal, finding the iPad and listening to the girls share their dream the night before. But something is better than nothing and it felt good to show up.
In June, I rewrote my one sentence story. Instead of "I can't take Pilates from home" I started saying "I can't not take Pilates from home." And instead of skipping 30 days worth of classes, I moved my way through 25.
Now, just so we are clear: taking a workout class is very low stakes. There are much more important stories that are finally being rewritten and told right now.
I only use Pilates as an example because I was keeping a daily habit tracker so I have a clear visual to represent this change in narrative. No bubbles filled one month. And nearly every bubble filled two months later. The situation I was in did not change in those two months. I changed how I was thinking about the situation.
There are many ways to rewrite a story. But here are three ideas if you are looking for, or feel like you need, a change
- Read someone else's story. It doesn't have to be about the thing you are trying to do! But just read about how another person made a shift. I am always inspired by stories that show how much is possible –– even (especially?) when someone else's jump is one I will never personally take. Memoirs are outstanding for this.
- Find a partner. Ask someone to write a new story with you. Consider being their narrator and request that they be yours. Sometimes it's easier to tell a friend a new story than it is to tell ourselves. Do that. Tell them they are capable. Tell them they are making progress. And listen when they tell you the same.
- Fake it until you make it. This is what I did with Pilates. That first Sunday in May I didn't want to take a class. But I did it anyway. And then I did it again. And again. Until eventually rolling out my mat and clicking on to Zoom was as comfortable as opening a(nother) LaCroix and scrolling my phone. Sometimes we start a new habit simply by pretending it's something we want to do.
It's July first. This decades-long "year" we are calling 2020 is half over. What stories have you been telling yourself? What stories do you want to tell yourself? What stories will you start telling yourself?
