I have come to loathe the phrases "foreseeable future" and "new normal." I think we can all agree that this age of uncertainty we're living in sucks.
And uncertainty is especially challenging if you're a parent. As a parent, your kid assumes you are the person with the answers, the solver of problems, the person who can kiss a boo boo and magically make it better. And while I don't pretend to know everything around my kids, never in my life have I so frequently responded with, "I have no idea" or "We have to wait and see" or "There's really no telling when we'll know that."
In fact, the only thing I have said with any degree of certainty is, "Probably not until 2021 at the earliest" in response to "When do you think there will be a COVID-19 vaccine?"
And really, I was kind of bullshitting; I'm not even particularly certain about that. Science takes time, you guys.
This age of uncertainty is taking its toll. I have been so incredibly sad at times. And so angry at others. And through this uncertainty—sometimes begrudgingly because sometimes I just want to cry on my grumpy cloud and not look for a silver lining—I have realized that I will not survive this unless I move toward and embrace the things about which I am certain; the things that bring joy and comfort and laughter. Here are some things that are on my list:
- I would be lost without books. Truly, truly lost. Thank you, authors. (I'm still not loving e-books compared to paper books but I'm still glad to have e-books.)
- Speaking of books, I wrote about this in my last newsletter, but I have rediscovered the joy of reading out loud. Violet and I are reading Wonder together and it is so cuddly and lovely to have that time together. That time together actually makes me forget about the dumpster fire raging outside.
- I have yet to win a set but tennis with my husband is my favorite thing.
- Texts with funny friends give me life. I'm so grateful to have friends who, even when they're texting about the dumpster fire of life, somehow still make me laugh.
- Friends with whom you can ugly cry. Especially ones who mysteriously, magically show up at your house with flowers (pictured above) when you are in the middle of said ugly cry. (Note: masks are helpful in sopping up ugly cries.)
- Yeast aside (still can't find that anywhere), I'm extremely grateful for the current certainty of food. The grocery store hoarding and uncertainty around food at the beginning of the shutdown was extremely anxiety provoking for me. Now, every two weeks when I do our grocery shop I'm grateful to be able to restock for myself and my Mom.
- Even before I became a dog person, the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show always made me giggle. So many shapes and sizes! I recently watched a rebroadcast and I totally fist pumped when OMG THE STANDARD POODLE WON THE WHOLE FREAKIN' THING. (My new puppy James is a standard poodle.)
- If there ever is a rebroadcast of one of the Jason Bourne trilogy movies, I take immediate comfort.
- Hands on projects (e.g., baking, painting, etc.) always bring me joy. Always.
- That moment after an apology where you feel the bitter air evaporate from the space between you and another human. (Ask me how I know.)
What are the surefire things that make you smile or feel comfort? Make a list and lean in to one of those things today.
