When I was in elementary school my teacher would have us write compliments to kids on their birthdays. She would collect index cards of our written notes for the classmate to save and read when they needed a reminder that they were supported and loved. Even at that early age, I got a lot of “she's kind” compliments. I was a sensitive kid with a big heart—fiercely competitive and also introspective. Truly though, I was kind to others and to myself.

Now as an adult, that's changed. As a community professional, I’ve developed that natural inclination into a skill that focuses on supporting and empowering others. Inwardly, I have learned to hold myself to expectations and measurements of success that don’t exactly exude the same level of heart and compassion I am known to give to others. As a disabled woman I fear being dismissed as lazy.

I feel like kindness has an unfortunate and untrue bad reputation. It’s often mistaken for weakness. It alludes to naivety and passivity. I’m going to try to make a case for kindness today as a transformative trait of power as I work on it myself. 

I don’t think it means what we try to subdue it into—a bland flavorless soup of “sure that’s fine” indifference that excuses problematic behaviors. In fact, I think kindness is pretty bold and is woven into a lot of the work pushes back against harmful ideas, behaviors, and systems.

When was the last time you gave (time, money, support, energy) without anticipation of receiving something in return? When was the last time you released yourself from goals and measurements of success rooted in fears of inadequacy and failure? I’m not talking about erasing all boundaries, never setting goals, or giving all your work away for free. I mean do you give grace and share concern to and for yourself and others without expectation?

There is tremendous power and magic in that space—to stand in contrast to a lot of “-isms” that want us to believe that all interactions in life need to be transactional and lead to productivity in order to be worth doing… to be valued.  

When I think about kindness in this context, it actually seems pretty radical.