Welcome to the second edition of The Inbox Coach, a monthly email to bring you a little bit of coaching to your inbox and help you to make time for your personal development. 

2020 has not been a year that has gone to plan, for anyone. Whatever dreams or goals we had at the start of the year, they are probably looking very different at the moment, and if the goal is the same then how we are going to get there may well have changed.

Setbacks in our career don’t only occur when there is a global pandemic going on, they can happen every day. Big or small, things will get in the way of our dreams and it is up to us to choose how we respond to them.

Responding to setbacks

Our response to a setback may vary depending on what it is that we haven’t been able to do and what else is going on in our life. A setback may give us the energy we need to keep trying or it may stifle us and make us want to forget our dreams altogether.

It’s very easy to brush off a setback as something that isn’t meant for us and keep going, but sometimes it is worth stopping to see how not getting what we want makes us feel. A strong negative reaction may be about more than just the setback. If you are unhappy in your job, not getting an interview for a new position may be more upsetting than if you are looking from a more positive place. 

If we are clear on how we feel about a setback we are in a better place to re-look at our goals and check they are still what we want. Remember that it is ok to change your goals, if you have found the route to getting what you thought you wanted has caused you to think if you want it at all, that is ok.

If your goal is still what you want, then dealing with a setback is all about finding a new route. I love the analogy of a journey when thinking about our career goals as it can help us to see all the possible ways to get to our destination. Some setbacks are like a traffic jam, it might take a bit longer, but you can go on your original route if you just persevere. Other setbacks are more like a road closure and you have to take a diversion and find a new way to achieve your goal. Sometimes it is the car that breaks down and you need breakdown recovery to help you out, these are the setbacks that aren’t directly to do with our career but impact what we can achieve such as illness, financial restraints, caring responsibilities, life! 

Everything happens for a reason?? 

I really dislike the phrase “everything happens for a reason” especially if someone else is saying it to you when you have just missed out on something you really wanted. With hindsight it is easy to see how a setback led to a great opportunity and declare that everything happens for a reason. It may well have done, but I think this is more to do with people continuing to go after their goal despite a setback rather than things just working themselves out. I’ve missed out on some opportunities which have left me open to other, probably better, things which I am grateful for, but I have also been in horrible situations that whilst they led to better things I would rather not have gone through the pain. 

Reflection

It can be tempting to gloss over how we feel about a setback and move on to the next task, but I believe spending a bit of time thinking about what has happened can be helpful in determining what we do next. To help you to deal with a setback in your career ask yourself:

How does this setback make me feel?

How do I feel about my goal now?

What do I need to think, feel and do to positively move past this setback?

Write your answers down in your journal and spend some time thinking about how you are feeling and why your goal matters to you. 

Action

It is very easy to think that there is only one specific route to achieving your goals, so when a setback occurs it can feel like there is no other way to get what you want. Often there are multiple ways to achieve what you want. 

Task

List all of the possible ways to achieve your goal. Don’t put any limits on the options, include things which you might not think are possible.

If you get stuck for ideas, ask yourself what the bigger purpose of your career goal is. We can get so fixated on a specific role or project that we forget what we are ultimately trying to achieve. Think about the other possible routes to achieving that purpose. 

Once you have exhausted all the possibilities you can review what you have come up with, see if one might work and pick a new way forward to try.

If you can’t do the exercises from this email now, then don’t forget to pick a time when are going to do it and add the prompts in this email to your calendar.

Inspiration 

“Everyone has a story that deserves to be told.” – Renae Bluitt

One of most helpful things I have found in dealing with setbacks in my career is hearing how other people have overcome challenges in their work. It’s one of the reasons I started Unconventional Mentors and why I am so passionate about sharing these incredible women with you. This month I want to introduce you to Renae Bluitt, a film maker, digital content creator and the producer of She Did That, a documentary about Black Women entrepreneurs and their experience of running their own businesses. Renae’s mission is to champion the work of Black Women and to inspire women all over the world and her documentary does exactly that. From a lack of representation to the funding gap for women of colour, this documentary takes a look at the setbacks and successes of some incredible women and I found it to be so inspiring.  You can read my profile of Renae and the advice I take from her here. 

Well done for continuing to make time to work on your career.  I'll be back with you next week to see how you are getting on and if you need it, a gentle nudge to do your reflection and action tasks to help you to deal with a setback. 

See you then

Laura