The difficult conversations 

aren't going away...



In a time where capacity is a commodity in low supply there are some specific ways we can conserve precious energy, specifically in how we show up in daily conversations.


Every conversation we have either offers energy or depletes it.  Rarely do our conversations have neutral impact.


So you and I get to decide if our side of a conversation [the side we are responsible for] creates confusion or clarity.  Are we conserving energy or depleting the very thing we need more of as we face unknowns that play out with a domino effect.


I don’t know about you but I want to conserve my energy so I can give to and grow relationships, to do the work that God has called me to and to tend to my own table so I can tend to the tables I influence with greater intention and grace.


So I’m choosing clarity over confusion.


I’m seeking to conserve versus deplete in how I speak, text and type.  And I will continue to make mistakes and relentlessly pursue forgiveness because this takes practice and people matter.


This doesn’t mean I have to agree with everyone or avoid the conversations that feel conflicting.  It is in those very conversations, the ones that may feel scary, intense or intimidating where we need to put in the practice and grace-filled courage.


The difficult conversations aren’t going away.  We have the option to ignore issues hoping they will “work themselves out” or bulldoze through them to get rid of them.  The problem with those strategies is that the issues may go silent but will surface with greater regret and damage than if we took the risk of pursuing a clarifying conversation when the issue occurred.


Choose risk over regret.  

Clarity over confusion.


Let’s explore clarifying components and questions that that can equip you and I in designing COLLABORATIVE conversations where problems are diminished not people.  Remember, tone and body posture communicate as powerfully as our words.



Be clear on safety.  

grow, protect and represent trust…assurance to speak without fear of retribution, retaliation or shaming



Be clear on intent.  

communicate the desired and specific outcome-goal[s]



Be clear on the issue.

what's the specific issue/need/concern…don't stray



Be clear on expectations and roles.

what specifically needs to be accomplished, when and by whom



Be clear on actions.  

what are the next right steps that will move towards the desired outcome



Be clear on consequences.

what are the risks if nothing is done AND what are the benefits if action is taken



If you are feeling exhausted after a conversation, consider if one of these elements were lacking. Identify it and seek to clarify it.


When we commit to creating a table that allows people to safely contribute even when we don't agree, we have conversations that matter.  Conversations that conserve energy, create capacity and connection, one conversation at a time.

Are there conversations you Need tend to?


What's your next brave step?



Capacity is a commodity.


Are your conversations conserving or depleting this precious resource?


Choose the risk of seeking clarity over

the regret of ignoring confusion.

tending to the tables,