What happened to my Baby Girl? 

Lessons from the Chair 

Part 1

Working with teens girls as a counsellor, coach and teacher on 5 different continents in 11 different countries  eventually lets you recognize patterns. 


When the teen years hit, most mothers are shaken up and often ask ‚Äúwhat happened to my baby girl‚ÄĚ. 


Well, I‚Äôve done this cycle over 16 years so to me it‚Äôs a bit like "groundhog day" except for a few rising trends. 


Here are some lessons from the chair. 


Mostly so you don't feel so alone mama. 


And this is just Part 1!


 So here it is, ready to hear it or not...I‚Äôm always telling it as it is! 

Drug use is on the rise, especially abuse of Prescription Drugs.

 Actually if you're the parent of a teen this probably comes as no surprise. 


Access to drugs is at an all time high. And I have never in all my years, since the past four years seen such a crisis. 


And the adults in their lives don’t know how to handle it.

Self Esteem is at an all time low

The Spice girls and Opera were our generation. 

So who do these girls have? 


Think about who is raising their self-esteem, and more importantly is it an external source of self-esteem or internal?  


They are often looking to others to bring them up again (teachers, friends, parents, relationships), and for some reason have not been given the healthy tools to bring themselves out of the dark. 


Teach them to be their own cheerleader. 

They are as brilliant as ever.

 With the amount of access to information these teens have they are not an ignorant bunch. 

I‚Äôm gonna go as far as saying they are most of the time smarter than their parents. Risky statement? I know. 

But truthfully, when they are trusted and given space to shine they many a times will blow you away. 

They often don't shine because of fear, judgment and well..not waiting to outshine.

They don't know how to look you in the eye

Technology right! 


Nope..parents who don‚Äôt know how to control technology! 

And how the heck should we know how? 


It truly is a different world from where we come from. Isn't that a song? 


When I ask those well rounded girls what their parents did differently they say, "very very strict measures when it came to owing a phone, television watching, the dinner table etc." 


As for many of them, they really don't know how separate reality from the screen.

Self harm is an outlet for stress

This is a painful truth to live with. I know because I deal with these hurting teens often.

Since, it is on the rise, there are many resources and tools you can access for her and yourself mama! 

Our current systems, especially education systems are exhausted!

They over diagnose and don't have the manpower to handle all the issues that are coming up. 


Understandably, there are limits to way they handle these issues. 


From my experience, teaching techniques of Stress Based resiliency, yoga and meditation have been the only way to empower our girls to live healthy lives through these times. 


But our systems are so exhausted and stressed that if you are not seeking this elsewhere, than I am not sure how you are surviving in the world with a teen. 

Need help navigating these years?  

Click here to book your FREE call


Have we met yet?

Illanith Benjamin is a Holistic Wellness Coach. Her mission is to help mothers develop a more loving and connected relationship with themselves and their daughters. Look forward to joining her in an Online Course for Moms later this year or book your first call and let her help you work through this stage using techniques from Mindfulness, Yoga, Stress Based Resiliency and Love.