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Hi friend, 

 

A troll told me recently that by using a word that ends in -phobia -- fatphobia -- I was comparing the way fat people are treated to the way that LGBT+ people are treated, and how very dare I.

I want to note, right here at the beginning, that I am very careful not to compare oppressions. Living in a fat body is indeed not like living in a body that is marginalized for any other reason (and of course there are many people who are part of two or more oppressed populations). I do not experience the same kind of oppression that people in Black bodies do, or people who use mobility aids, or people who are LGBTQIAP+. It's not a competition.

The point my darling troll is making that I want to address here is another, very common one: that even saying fat people are oppressed -- that saying fatphobia exists -- is somehow cheapening the very oppression of people who exist in other marginalized groups. Why? Because fat people aren't oppressed at all, and if they are, they deserve it because of their aberrant behavior (because, of course, aberrant behavior is what causes people to be fat).

It's astonishing to me, both as a very fat person and a person who lives in the world, that people still think that fat folks aren't oppressed (subject to prolonged cruel or unjust treatment or control, by the dictionary definition). 

All you have to do is look around you to see how despised fat people are. We're deliberately excluded from public physical infrastructure and public life. We're discriminated against in employment and we're paid less than thin people. Healthcare is an ongoing horror show for most fat people. And the fatter you are, the worse it gets.

As my troll quite correctly pointed out, I don't know what it's like to live in fear of my life when going outside for a walk. But I do know what it's like to live in fear of needing surgeries that will be denied to me based solely on my body size. I know what it's like to live in fear of being stared and scoffed at wherever I go.

I know personally what it's like to be prescribed medications I don't need and be lied to about it, based purely on my body size. I know what it's like to make it to a final job interview, only to see the interviewer's face fall when I walk into the room.

I know very personally what it's like to live in fear that someone will show up at my house because someone else was so incensed at my daring to suggest that fat people are equally worthy that they released my personal information to a forum built around and devoted to hating people like me.

Even if fat folks could go for a run and eat fewer donuts and magically opt out of oppression by becoming thin -- which, we know from actual science, doesn't work, because intentional weight loss fails in 95-100% of cases, and 2/3 of the people who attempt it regain even more than they lose -- it wouldn't mean that fat people who didn't do so would deserve oppression. 

It is not okay to oppress, exclude and humiliate people, even if they could theoretically change themselves enough to prove themselves worthy of *not* being subject to torment. *Even if* I could choose to make myself thin, I would still deserve to be treated as a full human being who is worthy of respect in a fat body.

We are allowed to talk about our oppression without it inherently being some kind of insult to other oppressions. If you consider fat people unworthy of being treated equally, you are an oppressor and you need to unpack that and work through it now, no matter what other marginalizations you may be subject to.

Letter boundary: I'm aware that there are other terms I could be using, from weight stigma to fatmisia. This is not the time or place for that discussion, thanks. This is also not the place to compare being fat to any other marginalization, including race and gender.

Warmly,
Lindley

 

P.S. If you'd like to share this week's thought, it exists in blog form here.

My favorite photo this week:

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Image description: Three fat women sit outside under trees in summer dresses and eat ice cream cones. End image description.

I've been sitting here for half an hour trying to find the magic phrasing that will give this section of the guide the most marketing appeal.

I've been fighting since 2017 to offer this, and now that my blood, sweat and tears have dried I want you to know the depths of what has gone into it but I still don't have the words to tell you how much it means. So I'll just brag.

 

Since I started what's now Body Liberation Stock in response to a disappointing "body positive" collection from Getty Images, the most frequent question I've gotten is: When are you going to offer subscriptions and credits?

 

I have bootstrapped the hell out of this for years, and not only have I been running the world's only stock photo site devoted to ethically-produced images of larger bodies all on my own, it's now on a platform where I can offer the amenities of the big dogs in the industry.

 

In addition to a real credit-and-subscription system, I even added a wishlist ability a few days ago, so now you can save images for later.

 

These images are meant for every industry, but coaches, healthcare providers, mental health professionals, eating disorder treatment and health at every size (HAES) pros, yoga instructors, writers, marketing pros and web designers find them especially useful.

 

Another thing I'm not good at: asking for help. I would so, so appreciate any media or professional connections you might feel inspired to offer, and any sharing you might feel called to do. Being one human with no budget and a big dream is an awfully vulnerable place to be.

The Conversation

 
 

December is Podcast Month!

I'm spending this month slowing down, taking deep breaths, digging into my own inner world, resting and planning my work and energy use for the next year. I won't be providing as much free labor and education here or on social media as I normally do, so this is an excellent time to dig into my archive of guest podcast episodes if you'd like to hear me speak in depth on body image, photography, activism and power. 

 

Each podcast can be found at the link below, along with a full transcript when possible. (I'll be adding more to the list later in the month as well.) I hope you're also able to take some slow time for yourself this month.

Quick Resources: On the Holidays

“I am seeing a ton of food shaming, food policing, and food moralizing. All of this is crap.” My Dogs Help You Tell The Food Police To Take A Holiday

 

A script you can use to request that people don’t comment on your food or your body in advance, and 5 ways to deal with food and body talk from friends/family. How To Handle Holiday Diet/Body Talk

 

The Faces discuss strategies for getting through the holiday season without flipping the dinner table at Aunt Betty’s house. Episode 16: Fat for the Holidays

 

“Comments like this can rattle and shatter us, especially if our body image has been shaky for years.” Navigating Rude Food and Weight-Related Remarks at Your Holiday Meal

 

“The Holidays are Coming” is one third of the Dieting Axis of Evil along with “New Years Resolutions” and “Bikini Season is Coming.” The Worst Holiday Diet Tips

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Image description: Black and white photo of a Black woman with long dark hair, looking at the camera with a small smile. She has her hand in her hair leaning into her hand. She is wearing glasses and a light-colored knitted sweater. There is a teal banner across the image, reading “Ask a Fat Creator: Jaime Patterson” along with a URL.

Ask a Fat Creator: Jaime Patterson

Jaime is a body-positive, fat positive, inclusive lifestyle, family, boudoir, wedding, and portrait photographer based out of Richmond, VA. Jaime’s work centers fat and other marginalized bodies as a way of normalizing them in the field of photography. There is a lack of fat, queer, and other marginalized bodies being shown, in love, with their families, in their day to day, and confident in their bodies.

Jaime believes everyone has a unique story to tell and wants to be on hand to hear it, capture it, and share it with the world! She loves catching the moments that you may miss — that shy smile from your partner when you think they’re not looking, how your hand rests on your belly when your baby kicks, the way your eyes sparkle when you see your person walk down the aisle, and the way you embrace your whole self when wearing your best outfit and truly looking as sexy as you feel. Jaime thinks every body, every relationship, and every family deserves to be seen.

Find out more about Jaime's life, work and breakfasts in our interview!

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Image description: Shows a pale-skinned, purple-haired person with breasts using hand weights and wearing a sports bra, black pants, and sneakers with the words, “I’m not here to lose weight”.

Body-Positive Stocking Stuffer Ideas Under $10

Hi! I'm Lindley.

- she/her

- photographer

- author

 

Image description: Lindley, a fat white woman, is shown sitting in a cafe with salmon-pink walls. She has shoulder-length blonde hair and glasses, and is wearing a black top with a translucent blue-and-white patterned jacket. Her hands are on the tabletop in front of her.

Hi! I'm Lindley.

 

I'm a professional photographer (she/her, pronounced LIN-lee) who celebrates the unique beauty of bodies that fall outside conventional "beauty" standards. I live outside Seattle, WA. 

 

I talk about and photograph fat folks because representation of large bodies in the world is vital to our body liberation.

 

 

People come to me for:

  • Body-safe portrait, boudoir and small business photography sessions
  • Diverse, body-positive stock photos
  • Fat fine art photographic prints
  • Health at Every Size (HAES)-aligned consulting, writing and editing
  • The Body Love Shop, a curated resource for body-positive and fat-positive art and products

Pssst! Did a friend forward you this email? If you'd like to get your own body liberation guide every week, just drop your email address here.

 

You're on this list because you're a current or past client or customer, or you signed up on my website.

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