Dear First name / Friend,
Happy Spring!! I wanted to share a strategy I have been teaching - and practicing - a lot. This year the world has been full of contradictions. A resilient response to this is to learn how to be with the grey. However, in response to uncertainty it's so easy to get stuck in black and white thinking. This makes us vulnerable to over identifying with particular - likely more attractive - parts of life/us/others, and denying/judging the more difficult aspects.
The Both/And strategy helps us gain perspective and hold more than one thing as true. It builds psychological flexibility and promotes acceptance and compassion for ourselves and others.
So when you are feeling stressed or overwhelmed about something, or are struggling in a relationship, ask yourself “Is there is a BOTH/AND happening?” For example, sometimes we can love our partner, and be very angry with them. We can feel bliss for a child's budding independence, and grief at the passage of time. We can wish things were different, and be grateful for the lessons. We can feel loved, and lonely. We can feel scared, and hopeful.
As you practice this, you may begin to notice increased spaciousness for your whole experience. Building the flexibility to choose how you respond to yourself and others, moving you closer and closer to living a values based life.
Let me know if this is helpful! Happy practicing:)
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