Working with clients I noticed that one theme keeps popping up and that is self-care and self-love. Most people learn early on that taking care of themselves and their needs makes them selfish and self-centered, I used to believe that as well until I learned the truth.
I always think of what you learn when you are flying on an airplane, they tell you if anything happens to put YOUR oxygen mask on first and then help others, why? Because you are no good to anyone else if you aren’t taken care of first. This is true in life as well.
I find that women especially have difficulty with this because we are taught to be care takers at an early age. We are raised to be wives and mothers and how to take care of others and homes, but we are not taught how to take care of ourselves. We have trouble saying no to people without guilt or beating ourselves up and we are afraid we might offend someone, or someone will not like us if we say no. This belief is wrong for so many reasons.
When we do not take care of our needs, we become depleted which can lead to depression and anxiety and physical illness. We can also begin to resent our loved ones and taking care of them. Self-care is vital to our own mental and spiritual health as well as our physical health. When we take care of our own needs first we have a surplus of energy to take care of others.
So, what does this have to do with self-love? EVERYTHING! Self-love is the foundation on which everything else is built on. If we do not love ourselves, are we capable of loving others? It is my belief that we can only give what we have and if we do not have love for ourselves then how can we give love?
In learning how to love myself, truly love me, the good, the not so good and everything in between I learned how to show that same kind of love to others. Unconditional love comes from within. It has been a journey for me to get to where I am today where I can look at myself in the mirror, really look at me and love the person looking back at me. I could not always do that; in fact, I always resented and hated the person in the mirror and avoided looking at her as much as possible for when I did look at her all I saw where faults and flaws.
My journey towards self-care and self-love started with a book, a 21-Day journey called “Mirror Work” by Louise Hay. This book takes you on a journey of affirmations and looking at yourself in a mirror for 21-days (which by the way took me two years.) It changed how I saw myself and helped me to forgive myself for the way I had treated myself over the years. It always taught me that I have a right to honor my needs, which was also another part of this journey for I had no idea what my needs were.
Today because of this work I can say I love me in every way and no longer feel the need to people please. I have learned that the only opinion of me that matters is my own, I do not need other peoples approval. Does this sound self-centered or even conceited? It isn’t at all. By loving myself first and taking care of my needs first I am able to love people more fully and to be present to them in a healthier way without burning myself out.
So how do you practice self-care and self-love? Do you know what your needs are? Note that I am saying needs and not wants, there is a difference. Are you afraid to say no to people but then feel angry and resentful when you do what you agreed to do? How do you feel about yourself? Have you ever looked into your own eyes when looking in a mirror? Do you like what you see? If not, why not?
It is never too late to begin the best love affair you will ever know! Love yourself the way you want others to love you.
This is part of what Intuitive Guidance is about, it is helping you to get to know you, your authentic self so you may heal and love the person you were meant to be all along. Schedule your appointment today and discover who you are!
Namaste!
