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My offering for you this week: New subscribers to my Patreon at the Supporter level ($5) and up before June 15 will receive an exclusive Donut Care About Your Diet button! More details below.

Hi friend,

 

There’s a pattern I’ve seen displayed dozens of times by people and organizations who are asked to walk their talk about size inclusivity, and it goes something like this:

  1. Invalidation or gaslighting of the fat person asking them to do better
  2. Lashing out due to hurt feelings
  3. Claims about trying really hard
  4. Protests that marginalized people can’t be compensated because there’s no budget
  5. Requests for marginalized people to come in and make the organization/company more inclusive themselves
  6. Abandonment of the discussion

The comments on this post from Nic McDermid are an excellent example.

 

Note the lack of fat folks on this organization’s website, the constant requests in the post comments for basic education and the lack of fat people on their website and social media.

 

(To talk about eating disorders specifically for a moment: There are many more fat people, statistically, with eating disorders than thin people. Including fat people isn’t some kind of bone you’re throwing to the fatties, it’s reflecting reality.)

 

Why aren’t fat folks willing to come in and help organizations like this be inclusive, for free? Well, for one, because they’ve already shown that they’re willing to condescend to, patronize and invalidate the lived experiences of fat people already.

 

Just as importantly, we just can’t. If fat activists got involved, for free, with every organization that wanted us to come in and clean up its weight stigma and anti-fatness, we’d all work 100 hours per week giving our valuable time and wisdom to people who couldn’t even follow a few hashtags to learn a bit about not oppressing us.

 

For free.

 

We’re good without that, thanks.

 

And the thing is that there is a tremendous amount of information on fat oppression and weight stigma already out there for free. Marginalized people have given thousands of hours of labor in speaking and writing and illustrating and drawing and speaking some more.

 

If you’re not including fat people from the ground up in building your organization or club or cause or professional society or event, you can and will further fat folks’ oppression. It is not possible to represent us, to fight for us without us. And our knowledge and time are valuable.

 

And yes, that means I’ve just told you to spend money. I know there’s going to be resistance there. But if you’re going to build an event and/or an organization, ESPECIALLY one that claims to have anything to do with equity or inclusion, you have to build it in a way that actually does that. And that means figuring out funding as needed.

 

If you can pay for web hosting, you can pay for consulting. If you can pay for lunches with potential donors, you can pay for a fat person’s time. If you can pay for sponsored posts, you can pay for an hour of wisdom from a marginalized person.

 

And if you can come up with the time and energy and support to create a cause that’s even marginally related to equity or inclusion, you can come up with a way to include marginalized people on your leadership team that’s fair and equitable.

Warmly,
Lindley

 

P.S. You can share this week's letter here.

My favorite image this week:

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Image description: Art by Kathryn Hack of a fat cyclist in front of yellow trees on a blue background. Use this stock image >>

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From Me to You

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The Conversation

Here's what's being discussed this week in the world of body acceptance, Health at Every SizeÂź (HAES), body positivity and fat liberation*:

 

> ED recovery group for teens, starts July 6

 

> Join a study: Weight stigma in U.S. fertility care

 

> Plus Size Power Up, Ponte Vedra, FL, July 17

 

> Why offices need to be designed for larger bodies

 

> Unicorn chaser: Madame Mushroom Fae from #BlackFaeDay

 

Need a good 101 or refresher on bodies, fatness and science? I always recommend Body Respect by Lindo Bacon and Lucy Aphramor.

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Image description: Three buttons lying on burlap fabric with a chocolate-frosted donut design and the words, "I Donut Care About Your Diet."

Being a new subscriber to my Patreon at the Supporter tier ($5) or higher before June 15 gets you a sweet reward: one of my exclusive Donut Care About Your Diet buttons.

 

These 2.25" buttons feature a cute donut design and are exclusive to the Body Love Shop. Wear it on your jacket, bag or bulletin board to set a cheekily cute boundary.

 

Here's how to subscribe and get your button:

 

1. Head to the Body Liberation Photos Patreon and choose a tier at the Supporter level or higher. Click the “Join” button and follow the instructions.

 

2.  Visit this page to make sure you've entered a shipping address.

 

That's it! Super easy.

 

You'll receive your button in the mail within one month of upgrading your support as a patron.

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"People hate fat people so much, it’s unbelievable. It’s not even a dull kind of hate. It’s such a deep-rooted, gut-wrenching, personal vitriol. Death threats-levels of hatred. The beauty-, wellness- and diet-industry wouldn’t be gigantic billion dollar industries if we hadn’t been taught to hate fatness - in others and ourselves. 

 

When I grew up, I learned about bulimia and anorexia. Horrible eating disorders. We were warned about them (but we were, of course, taught that only thin people get them - if you are fat and stop eating or throw up after meals, you are just ‘dieting’ 🙄). 

 

No one ever talked about Binge Eating Disorder. If a fat person binge eats, they’re not ill, they’re just ‘greedy’ and y’know, fat. 

 

I stopped binge eating after I realised that it was an eating disorder - and I started therapy. 

 

And now - despite all the knowledge we have about eating disorders - we still do not talk about Orthorexia. The obsession with healthy eating and exercise. 

 

Healthy eating and exercise is obviously not in itself a disorder - but the obsession and fixation is. So many people have it. 

 

Society encourages it because there’s A LOT of money to be made from it. Gym memberships, diet books, blenders. All in the name of fat = unhealthy and healthy = the ultimate approval of worth. 

 

Fatphobia and capitalism makes us ALL ill. 

 

It doesn’t just kill fat people - it makes EVERYONE miserable. And the vitriol fat people get from trolls comes from people who are the most affected by fatphobia, Orthorexia and toxic masculinity. And they’re the most miserable, lonely, unfulfilled and scary people in the world. And so often, the worst trolls are obsessed with exercise and healthy eating. 

 

And I get it. I’m here, all fat and happy and psychologically (and physically) healthy and I don’t care about them. And they care so much about me. It must suck. Wanting me to die and be unhappy, so desperately. And I continue to be just fine. I feel for them. I also hate them. 

 

But mostly, they’re just sad and pathetic. And they know it. That’s why they lash out. But I just found amazing light from a window as I was getting dressed. So I’m happy." » Sofie Hagen

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This week's body mantra:

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Image description: A fat white woman sits in a garden, nude, among bushes. Buy a printable poster book that includes this mantra.

I honor your ears.

 

I honor your ears that hear, your ears that listen, your ears that no longer hear, your ears that never heard.

 

Your ears that stick way out from your head and got you made fun of in school.

 

Your ears that require assistance to communicate the world to you.

 

Your ears with the funny short lobes, with the long droopy lobes.

 

Your ears with the ever so slightly pointed tips that you always secretly delighted in because they look a little elvish.

 

Your ears with ten piercings. Your ears with none.

 

Your ears that you got pierced at the mall as a teenager, that never quite healed right and then grew back together.

 

Your dark ears, your pale ears, your ears that turn bright red when you're embarrassed.

 

I honor your ears.

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Quick Resources: More Resources for Indigenous Justice

I'm Lindley, and I work for liberation for all bodies

Image description: Lindley, a fat white woman, is shown shoulders up in a heart-patterned dress. She has blonde hair and glasses, and is smiling.

Hi! I'm Lindley.

 

I'm a photographer and activist (she/her, pronounced LIN-lee) who celebrates the unique beauty of bodies that fall outside conventional "beauty" standards. I live outside Seattle, WA. People come to me for:

  • Body-safe portrait, boudoir and small business photography sessions
  • Diverse, body-positive stock photos & fine art prints
  • Health at Every Size (HAES)-aligned editorial services and consulting
  • The Body Love Shop, a curated resource for body-positive and fat-positive art and products

Get details on all my offerings at bodyliberationphotos.com.

 

Pssst! Did a friend forward you this email? If you'd like to get your own body liberation guide every week, just drop your email address here.

 

You're on this list because you're a current or past client or customer, or you signed up on my website.

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