At this point, I imagine most of us have had our first restaurant outing, our first coffee date, maybe even our first party or plane ride. Perhaps we’re starting to get used to something we never knew we’d miss—pleasant interactions with strangers. 

When we were just starting to enter the world, a couple months and a lifetime ago, I jumped on a Zoom with friends in varying degrees of vaccine, and they recounted recent conversations with strangers as if these banal interactions were vacations abroad. Jorma approached a neighbor to ask about local babysitters and found himself stretching the conversation for 20 minutes. Mari lingered in the vegetable aisle gleefully comparing artichoke recipes. I met a new neighbor while we walked to the park, and learned about his two-year-old’s obsession with boats. These still-masked conversations were tantalizing if slightly awkward glimpses of normalcy.

I already knew there was great value in those interactions, because I’d spent a month of my Thank You Year writing gratitude notes to neighbors and acquaintances. While writing up that chapter, I spoke to sociologist Gillian Sandstrom about the importance of “weak ties,” or acquaintances. In short: They matter more than we realize. I wrote up five takeaways from our conversation in my blog, including the art of talking to strangers (be observant), and the reasons acquaintances can make you happier (they fill certain social needs). 

Gillian recently published a study that looked at why people are afraid of talking to strangers, and why they are happier when they get over those fears and do it. 

In case you don’t already have my book, and would like to read that chapter on neighbors, you can download it here for free!

Speaking of neighbors! I’m in the Berkshires now. About an hour into the drive up here, I had this thought: I turned off the broiler… right? Yes, I did. For sure I did. I mean, if we were home I would quickly check. But it’s off! I know it is. For sure.

This went on in my head and then aloud with my husband for about ten minutes before I activated the amazing women in my “neighbors” text chain. In three minutes flat one of them, Loretta, had found our hideaway key and checked it out. (It was off. Told you so.)

A good neighbor. What’s better?

Related
Priya Parker is so smart on the art of the gathering—why we do it, what we do to mess it up, and how to do it better. She’s the perfect person to guide us into this new stage of socializing. Highly recommend her two-part series on Brene Brown’s podcast, Dare to Lead. 

Press
I wrote a piece about gratitude in tough times for Elle magazine!