Hello dear First name / friends! In We Should Get Together, my inner Plant Lady was behind the abundance of nature metaphors explaining the best ways to cultivate more connection in your life. When I earned my certificate as a Master Gardener back in 2010, two of the most valuable takeaways I learned were that even if you study the best ways to care for a wide variety of plants: A) it's impossible to memorize how to do everything right for every plant all the time, so B) it's more helpful if you know how to diagnose and fix any plant problems you encounter. Becoming a Master Gardener didn't mean that my plants would never die — sometimes, though rarely — they still do, lol. 🙃 Getting certified meant that my classmates and I were trained to serve as citizen scientists, volunteering to make our communities more plant-filled and healthy. When volunteering at the Master Gardener tent at the farmer's market, our work was similar to that of a reference librarian or a plant detective. People would come over holding a mottled leaf from their cherry tree wondering what it was sick with, or they'd hand over a small branch of flowers and berries, wondering what plant it was and if it was edible. My fellow MGs and I would diagnose any issues and provide guidance on preventing or fixing problems in the future. And we advised on safe edible gardening too, which we also provided lots of examples of in local demonstration gardens. It's kinda like the work I do now as a Connection Coach, helping people who want to cultivate more fulfilling and abundant friendship and community in the Friendship Gardens of their lives. And I recently visited a real Friendship Garden… The Japanese Friendship Garden, started in 1960, which symbolizes the friendship between the Sister Cities of Okayama, Japan, and San Jose, California. |
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Fun fact: There are "sister cities" and "friendship cities." Friendship cities are less formal than sister cities. According to sistercities.org, "friendship city" is usually the first stage in the relationship. Later, after the relationship between the two cities grows more substantial and when the partners are sure they want a long-term relationship, they will become "sister cities." A city can have multiple sister/friendship cities. San Jose has eight: Dublin, Ireland; Ekaterinburg, Russia; Okayama, Japan; Pune, India; San Jose, Costa Rica; Tainan City, Taiwan; Veracruz, Mexico; and Guadalajara, Mexico. The Japanese Friendship Garden in San Jose uses a similar design as Kōraku-en Park (後楽園) in Okayama, and it's a serene oasis amidst the concrete savannah surrounding two sports stadiums across the street. The park features three large ponds — one of which currently contains its entire population of koi fish (only because the other two ponds are undergoing repairs.) |
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According to Google, Koi is a homophone for 恋, another Japanese word that means affection or love, so koi are often symbols of love, friendship, and commitment, among many other positive attributes. (photo by kat vellos) |
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The morning of my visit, I saw about a dozen teen and adult volunteers spread throughout the grounds, beautifying the garden. I spoke with one of them, who said he chose to volunteer that day to honor his brother who passed away from cancer — it was his brother's birthday. His story saddened and warmed my heart simultaneously, and I was grateful for our small conversation. As we prepared to say goodbye, he noted that the gardens welcome volunteers every second Saturday of the month — if you're in the local area, you should check it out or investigate volunteering options at a public garden or park near you. |
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Three volunteer friends on a break together in the shade of a willow tree. (photo by kat vellos) |
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The volunteers I saw all had a calm, pleasant vibe emanating from them — sometimes they were working together, and other times they had time and space on their own. It looked like a perfectly balanced blend of togetherness and solitude, with the connective tissue of shared purpose to boot. I felt a wave of sympathetic joy — similar to the happiness you feel when you see singing servers delivering a birthday cake to a table of strangers next to you at a restaurant. I was happy for them because there are numerous positive benefits that the man I spoke to and his fellow volunteers will receive as a result of their kindhearted altruism. In the book Happy City, Charles Montgomery reported that "...people who do "green" volunteer work stay healthier and happier over time than people who do other kinds of volunteer work. One study in Alameda, California, found that retirees who do "environmental" work were half as likely as non-volunteers to show depressive symptoms after 20 years; people who did other forms of volunteering only had their risk lowered by 10 percent." |
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Geese and koi are friends too. (photo by kat vellos) |
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Friendship combined with volunteering is a match made in FeelGoodStayHealthy Heaven. When you weave the two together, you improve your social health, mental health, emotional health, community health, and, depending on what you elect to do when you volunteer — your environmental health, too, all at the same time. And if you're not ready for full-on socializing at this stage of the pandemic, doing some environment-focused volunteering is The Easiest Way to be with people without the pressure of making constant conversation. When I surveyed adults for We Should Get Together, folks named volunteering as one of their most-desired and least-experienced friendship activities. Do you feel the same way? And I'm curious: Do your post-vaccination friendship-n-community plans include any form of volunteering? If so, I'd love to hear about it, so hit reply and let me know. If volunteering is new to you, dive in! You can start by getting in touch directly with local parks in your area or check out VolunteerMatch.org to find a plethora of unique opportunities. |
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Upcoming events Aspiring Authors Q&A Tue Aug 17 from 12:15-1pm PT; Free
Curious about publishing your book independently? I'll be answering questions about my Designer-to-Author mastermind circle which is spinning up again this fall, and taking general questions about self publishing. This is a casual lunchtime conversation; feel free to eat, drink, and be cozy. Register here |
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Community Connection Call Thur Aug 19 from 12:15-1pm PT; Free This is a private group call for my subscribers and reader community. If you're stumped about a friendship and community issue, you're welcome to come get laser coaching and/or guidance about it. If there's extra time, we can chat about the themes and thoughts that are present in your life right now. This is a casual lunchtime conversation; feel free to eat, drink, and be cozy. :) Register here |
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Wishing you a healthy, green, and friendship-filled week ahead, |
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p.s. If you found this letter helpful, consider forwarding it to a friend or coworker who can benefit from it. ❤️ |
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Sometimes some of the links in my emails will be affiliate links. That means that if you buy via my links, you're helping a Black queer woman earn a minuscule commission in the process at no extra cost to you. (Isn't that lovely?). Affiliate links are a tiny way I offset the cost of maintaining this newsletter so I can keep providing you with awesome content. Trust that I only recommend things I truly believe in, which I think will support your health, wellbeing, joy, and friendships. |
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