The first day, I was on my phone letting myself indulge in what I never do, mindlessly scroll. I got caught up in what everyone else was doing, and started to feel really bad about myself and my work. Chastising myself for not doing more even though I couldn’t swallow or even sit upright.
I tossed and turned that night in physical pain from my sore throat and body aches, as well as the emotional torment of all the things I SHOULD be spending this time doing.
The next day, I felt worse. Even more sick, and even more down on myself. And I realized I was headed for an emotional spiral. I couldn’t be productive if I was busy fighting off this fever, so I gave myself one task. Just lay still. Just breathe.
Eventually I fell asleep.
In the following days, it was one. thing. at. a. time.
Sit up. Make tea. Rest. Sit up. Put on pants. Walk the dog. Rest.
I'm pretty good at taking a single day a week to not be on my phone or computer at all (Sacred Sundays 🏕), but this illness forced me to take a long pause.
In four “working” days, I didn’t do one thing for my business and you know what, I didn’t die. I really thought for a minute there that if I wasn’t using this time as an opportunity to get ahead on my projects and work for this week, this month, that I was a lazy failure.
But taking that rest, that time away from my phone, from the busy-ness of it all, put it all back into perspective for me.
I have a metric shit ton to get done this week, but I am moving with more flow. And I am more relaxed than I have been in months. I love Honored Body and I love what I can provide for others through her. But she is just a part of the kaleidoscope that is my entire life.
I’m here to make human connections. Personal connections. And those require me to be a healthy human. To have my own experiences and take space for my own growth.
