We have been living through a renovation for months (and years before we moved into this house?) It's been difficult. Any time anything goes wrong, it feels derailing. We went away for Thanksgiving — to a little cabin in Asheville, so Chris could cook, and the whole family could enjoy some downtime away from the drop cloths and dust and power tools and contractors.
Within 10 minutes of returning home, Chris and I had an argument about I-don't-know-what. And then it occurred me: We're only arguing because we're in a very chaotic situation right now. We could feel the weight of the renovation in the house. The bonus room is coming along, but we're working on it every day. The contractors are in the kitchen every day — and as a result, all of the contents of the kitchen and pantry are spread out among the entryway and the music room and the living room. I feel like we're buried in boxes over here, and it's affecting how we were treating each other.
Chris and I always get asked, "How do you get along with your spouse while you're working on projects together?" Some of you have even joked that you can't put IKEA furniture together with your partner without getting into a fight. Hey — I get it. Chaos breeds contention.I guess what I learned this week is — It's nothing that your partner is doing. It's the situation. I'm not going to blame Chris for whatever really felt like his fault in that moment because our house was stressing me out. As always, I'll keep you guys posted on our progress :)
What do you do to defuse a stressful situation when there's
no project end in sight?
We're still learning, obviously. But we order takeout instead of trying to cook in chaos. We trade off who's in charge of bedtime for our girls so that one of us is always getting a complete night off. We create sanctuaries in our home and celebrate every ounce of progress. We plan weekends away if possible and always try to focus on gratitude.