During the worst of the pandemic, I bought a frivolous, expensive black velvet dress with no guarantee there would ever be parties again. It was a spur-of-the-bleak-moment impulse-buy at a time when toilet paper was the real luxury and a crazy splurge for an introvert wallflower. In retrospect, I think it must have been a subconscious vote for hope. I’m a secret romantic who mostly expects to be let down, who fights disappointment with skepticism, who must intentionally practice optimism, and the dress flies in the face of all those facts and fears. But I don’t regret ordering it or the cost or the chance I won’t be able to wear it for a while. Every time I open my closet and see it hanging there with the tag still attached and run my hand over the soft nap, I cling to possibility. Not just for parties but also for our ravaged planet, our faltering democracy, our uncertain future. Maybe it’s irrational in the face of all the bad news and Covid comebacks, but I try to remember a line from one of my favorite Wendell Berry poems: “Be joyful though you have considered all the facts.” Friends, here’s hoping we hang onto joy as hard as we can, whenever we can, wherever we find it. 

Is there a cook on your list this Christmas? Instead of another potholder, wrap up a bottle of Burlap & Barrel’s Turkish Sumac. It gives the hummus I eat on Greek pitas for breakfast a taste twist, but it’s also recommended for salads, roasted vegetables, and meat.  

Have you had your fill of sugar-cookie-sweet Christmas movies yet? If so, I highly recommend the dark, doomy allure of The Power of the Dog. It features one of the best casts around, a brooding setting, and the brilliant hand of director Jane Campion. After watching “Dog,” I went back to some of Campion’s earlier movies—The Portrait of a Lady, based on the Henry James novel, and Bright Star, inspired by John Keats’ romance with Fanny Brawne. Campion never makes a predictable movie and rarely a false move.

In this season of peace and love, are you heartsick about school shootings?

FACT: An estimated 5.4 million children live in homes with unsecured firearms, and in nearly 80% of incidents, underage shooters obtain guns from home or a friend or relative.

ACT: It’s up to us to make change. Join Moms Demand Action and lobby for strict safe-storage laws in your state.

I’m in love with these monkey candles from Greentree Home. I’m not sure I could bear to give them away or even burn them, but the Solstice is coming so the more candles the better. And if you have holiday parties on your calendar, they make unusual hostess gifts. For tips on how to be someone's favorite guest, click below.