This is the second version of this newsletter. I wrote the first a couple weeks ago, and the tone was a lot perkier, with a lot more exclamation points! I linked to the list of New Year’s resolutions I wrote last year and said that rereading it, I was reminded how this time last year, we were very much in the depths of COVID. Yikes. Now, at least in Brooklyn, there is very much the feeling of, here we go again. The CityMD line stretches over two city blocks. My kids’ school closed a classroom for the first time all year. Holiday parties and Broadway shows are getting canceled. 

 

Last month I bought myself a ticket to see American Utopia. I try to treat myself to a show around the holidays every year: Two years ago it was A Christmas Carol, as I wrote about in the last pages of my book. I ended up giving the ticket away to someone with a higher risk tolerance than I currently have. It’s all painfully familiar. 

 

First of all, I have to remind myself that we know so much more about this disease than we did two years ago, and that our vaccinations are good shields. Second, I have to take a huge breath. Third, I’m reflecting on the ways we’ve taken advantage of the pandemic lull, like catching up with three out-of-town friends over the span of two weeks, and the night earlier this month (wow) when my mother-in-law treated us to by far the fanciest, most delicious meal we’ve had in years. On the subway ride there, Fran Leibowitz was (I swear to God) checking out my f*ing overcoat. (It’s my father-in-law’s navy cashmere Armani coat from the 70s, and it’s gorgeous.) NYC is magic.

 

I think the lesson here is, as my friends Erica and Claire said on a recent podcast: Smoke ‘em if you’ve got ’em. Meaning: I am so grateful that we snuck in some adventures while it was safe to do so. And while it’s tempting to think about the people we didn’t see, the movie theaters and museums we didn’t visit, I’m resisting that temptation. (This, friends, is gratitude in practice.) Over the holiday break, I’m going to lead a family brainstorm of all the fun things we will do in the New Year. In the meantime, we are staying safe and trying to find beauty and calm in this moment of contraction. 

As the New Year approaches, I am finding it helpful to list out 2021’s accomplishments (like appearing on The Today Show, bonkers), highlights (racing the boys on a Southern California beach), and stuff I learned (I am happiest when I make time for creativity). Seeing all of these things on a sheet of paper is helping me remember how many wonderful things happened in a difficult year, that years, like people, contain multitudes. And it’s helping me stay positive in a time when it’s so easy to go the other way.

As for resolutions: I tend to go BIG when it comes to goals. I wrote 365 thank you notes in 2018, as you likely know, and last year I wrote 46 resolutions to foster joy and connection in a COVID winter. (This list is still worth a read IMHO!) This year, I am pulling back. I want 2022 to be the year where I dig deeper into the relationships I have. Quality over quantity, that sort of thing. I hope one of these resolutions, meant to foster joy and connection, inspire your list.

1. WRITE THE THANK YOU NOTE I NEVER WROTE. First, I need to find my fifth grade teacher, Mary C. Hall. I wanted to write her a gratitude letter in my Thank You Year, but couldn’t locate her! I called the principal at my elementary school, Montemalaga in Palos Verdes, and she was like, “Wasn’t she the best? She moved to Central California.” If you have any hot tips, pass them along.

 

2. MEET MY 9/11 FRIEND IN PERSON. One of my 2021 highlights was finding the woman whom I bonded with in New York City on 9/11. We sort of saved each other that day, emotionally speaking. (Thankfully we were both uptown and in no physical danger.) I am hoping to travel to Chicago this year, and if I do, I would love to meet her in person.

 

3. SHOW UP IN A REAL WAY FOR “STRONG TIES.” Here’s a little primer of weak ties, or acquaintances—which are more important than you think, as you know if you read the neighbors chapter of my book. I feel so lucky to have bonded with so many weak ties over the course of my Thank You Year and since. Now, I want to make sure I am fostering my strong ties. There are two women I am thinking of whom I could be doing a better job of supporting. I am going to pick up the phone and call these women regularly. And I would really love to fly out to visit one of them. (Jake, if you’re reading… let’s talk?) (Yes, this is a test to see how closely he reads this newsletter.) 

 

4. WRITE A GRATITUDE NOTE TO MYSELF. I have thought about doing this over the years, but it’s always felt a little silly, like a forced writing prompt. But 2021 was a big year, and I could use the help processing it all, as maybe you do?

 

5. READ 12 NEWBERY AWARD WINNERS WITH MY BOYS. We’ve been working on the ambitious goal of reading all 100 Newbury Award-winning books—see above re: I like BIG goals, ha—which will take years. Sub-goal: More weekend reading with both boys cuddled up in my bed, which is my heaven. 

 

6. LAUNCH AN IGTV SERIES WITH AUTHORS ABOUT THEIR ACKNOWLEDGMENTS PAGE. Does anyone else ALWAYS read the Acknowledgments page? Would you like to see me chat with authors about theirs? Not about their agent/editor boring book-making stuff, but the stories behind those intriguing little lines. You know: “And to my first friend, C: I wouldn’t be a writer without you.” I NEED TO KNOW MORE. 

 

7. SPEAK ABOUT GRATITUDE TO CROWDS. I am putting this intention into the world. Let me know if you know any libraries or companies or panels that might want to hear about gratitude from me!

 

8. HELP PEOPLE CREATE THEIR OWN THANK YOU YEAR. I am hatching a plan to go deeper with this wonderful community, and offer a monthly gratitude care package of sorts, with monthly topics and prompts and printable sheets to help people navigate their own Thank You Year, however that might look for them. I’m thinking about a monthly virtual meet-up, too. Look out for allll the details in the next newsletter. 

Until then, stay safe. Wishing you a New Year filled with gratitude, joy, connection and good health.

P.S. Forward to someone you're grateful for?