Hey there First name / friend,
This week, I’ve spent a lot of time confronting feelings of anxiety, discomfort and instability in my practice. Tiffany here, and I have three recitals coming up quickly in February!
For me, as a performance approaches (usually about 2 weeks away if it's a biggie), I experience some of these things... maybe you can relate:
- In practice, I may approach a technically difficult passage and start thinking “What if I mess this up?” My hands get weird and my technique suffers just thinking about performing the passage.
- I have a glimpse of the discomfort I may feel in a long phrase and start asking “But what if I don’t make it?”
- I get butterflies thinking about walking out on stage - a mix of super excited and ... "will I be ready?"
- I start to really worry that I am not practicing enough.
- I start to have super irrational thoughts like "Will I even remember how to play any of this?"
I used to spend a lot of time avoiding these thoughts. They didn't feel good, I didn't want them, and honestly I thought something was wrong with me because I had them. (What performer worries about a performance?) I’d push them away, and I’d focus on performance anxiety solutions for the stage - because that’s true performance anxiety, right?
I'd focus my attention on what I was going to do to calm my breath backstage, how to remain centered during the performance, and staying in the moment as the bright lights begin to shine down upon me.
And sure, working through those things was really helpful.
But… here’s my truth.
My main discomfort has never been on stage. I mean don’t get me wrong - I’ve had very uncomfortable moments on stage and have made more mistakes than I care to admit in performance. But my real discomfort of panic, loss of control, nervousness happens in the couple of weeks leading up to a big performance.
Not a shocker, I always knew I didn’t want to feel this way before a performance. I wanted to feel in control, excited, balanced. Sure, maybe a little nervous! But not overtaken.
I've found that the best way to conquer this pre-performance anxiety is by embracing it fully. Read how and why - and how I've taken steps to overcome it - in today's blog post: “
Embracing the hard: pre-performance anxiety.”