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Hi friend,
 
You know how sometimes things just don't work out? Are a disaster from end to end? Well, that was my first try at a chat with author Dalia Kinsey.
 
First, our FB live didn't want to start. Then I couldn't add Dalia to the chat. Then the audio and video were off sync so badly that there was no point in even posting the recording.
 
SO. Let's try again!
 
Please join me and Dalia Kinsey on February 25 to talk about Dalia's new book, Decolonizing Wellness!
 
We'll explore:
 
🍇 What called Dalia to write this book
🍇 What "decolonizing" means when it comes to wellness
🍇 Why there's a need for wellness information specifically for non-white folks
🍇 The ramifications of praising celebrity body parts, and more
 
We'll be live ON ZOOM from 4-5 p.m. Pacific time (PST). A replay will be provided as well after the event.
Something I often see happen when fat folks talk about something or someone fatphobic is thin folks treating this as optional knowledge. Something they can choose whether to believe.

Most recently it was in yet another discussion about Brene Brown, who's been openly fatphobic her whole career and has blithely ignored the multiple fat folks reaching out to her about it.

(I don't want to hear about her interview with Sonya Renee Taylor. Taylor is a blessing and Brown hasn't apologized for her harm or changed her ways.)

A thin woman wandered into the conversation and was all, "I'll look into this and see what I think."

The thing is, not only are fat folks not asking for thin folks' opinions on whether something is fatphobic, but this kind of centering of thinness as knowledge, expertise and authority is both toxic and oppressive.

Also, it's incredibly obnoxious. Cut it out.

When someone who's marginalized tells you about something that's damaging to them, you have one job: to listen.

You don't get to make a judgment call on whether they're right, or reasonable, or rational.

You don't get to decide whether their argument is legitimate.

You don't get to decide anything, because you're not the authority here. And the discomfort that comes along with that is a valuable lesson in itself. 

The facts that a) you assume you *should* be the authority in all things, b) generally you're encouraged to and get away with acting like the authority, and c) it's uncomfortable to have to take a seat and let someone else be the authority should be a wakeup call. 

It's time to sit down, listen to what fat people are saying, and then use the power of thinness that means other people treat you as an authority to tear down the system that elevates you and silences us.

If none of this is making sense to you, I wrote an entire workbook just to help you figure it out
 
Warmly,
Lindley
 
Psssst: I'm actually active on Twitter these days. Want to connect?
 
P.S. Share this week's letter or save to read later here. It's only possible to offer the Body Liberation Guide and all its labor for free because people like you support it. If you find value here, please contribute for as little as $1 per month. Every dollar helps.
 

The Conversation

 
"When I eat out, sometimes I eat pizza which is delicious and amazing. Other times I go for the vegetarian dishes that are delicious and amazing. 
 
I like chocolate chip cookies. I like kale chips. I like french fries. I like vegan ice cream. I like chocolate brownies. I like sautĂ©ed spinach. 
 
I have had people tell me that I am “so good” when I eat something that is more veggie based I have had people tell me how “fun” I am with food when I order a burger. 
 
What I wish is that we would keep our eyes on our own plates. #getoffmyplate." » Kimberly Weiss
 

Coming Up
 

Quick Resources: On sleep apnea and body size

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*These links are provided as a community service and I'm not compensated for any of them unless noted by an asterisk. Feel free to email me your fatphobia-free events for inclusion (must include a hyperlink to a post or page about the event).
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