Hey!
Nothing ever lasts forever. Trying to hold on to this current version of me does not stop time. Change still occurs. Whether I allow it or not.
I'm always looking for ways to grow, learn, and I do that by investing in myself. That takes the form of courses, events, reading sessions, conversations with others, walks.
This time around, I jumped into a virtual retreat, all about manifestation.
As I go over my notes from the bonus days inside the retreat, I look back.
Story of my life. Waited for others to make the first move so that I could follow. Always looking over my shoulder to receive that nod telling me that I was on the right track... when I had all these answers within.
As my eyes follow the words that came right from my soul, I realize something. That I did not allow myself to dream or want or desire anything more than what I thought I could afford 😢
And so, over the years, my dreams got tossed away into this invisible graveyard of things that haven't even come to pass but died long before.
Keeping myself safe by not allowing myself to dream. Because what if that dream did not came true? What if I couldn't afford it? How would that make me feel?
In preventing myself to dream, I prevented myself from feeling anything deeper than surface level stuff.
Putting out the fire of desire every single time it would resurface.
But nothing ever lasts forever.
Doors slammed open as I allow the sweet release of rusty padlocks 🚪 One by one, falling to the ground. Freeing all those dreams. Breathing life into them. Allowing them to run wild, merge within me, spark desire, fuel my actions, and just allowing them to be.
Who am I to keep my desires locked away? They deserve to come true. They deserve to fulfill their destiny. Tears fall again. Tears of joy. Like waves high fiving each other 🌊
Watching my dreams and desires shyly emerge. Is it safe? Yup, finally safe to be.
Just be.
Have an expansive time and I'll catch you in the next one!
