When is the work finished?

The timer just went off on my banana bread. But maybe even that's not definitely finished. 

 

I cut a slice, took a bite, felt unsure about it, patched it back up and put it back in the oven for five more minutes. (I've had banana bread that was raw in the middle before and it's unpleasant lol.)

 

The kitchen gets cleaned, but then it gets messy. And then you discover some uncleaned area. And then your partner makes a sandwich. Never finished.

 

Constant works in progress. Who determines what work is finished? Is work ever finished? Isn't there always more to be done. Nothing is perfect, everything is in flux. I have no answers, only questions today, and every day.

 

I bought new pastels on Monday. And restocked some others that I've worn out. And I bought some brown paper. Simple brown paper, no fuss, no stress, make a mess / experiment type of paper. Which is it's own joy for me. I love low stakes art. Art for me. Art for you. Art for whoever enjoys it. Idk who that might be. But this piece is for me.

 

The timer on the bread just went off again. Let's call it done. Not because I'm sure. But because I'm hungry. It's 12:05 and I have been waiting on this “breakfast” for hours.

 

I'm trying to feel enough these days. I'm certainly tired enough, down on myself enough, but I also want to be trying hard enough, doing enough, accomplishing enough. I'm going through some changes in home, in body, in mind, in everything. A lot of them, actually. But it still never feels like enough. It's not enough to be a business owner. It's not enough to own a house that's in need of a lot more love. It's not enough to be newly married and planning a wedding reception during covid while pregnant for the first time ever. But it is, isn't it?

 

And I'm hoping this art is enough. Pastel fleurs that took me negative three minutes to scribble down and feel happy with. In color, in composition, in energy. And it'll live here with all my other “enough” pastels. The ones I like, anyway. 

 

And maybe that's not enough for me right now (I'd love to list these online, make a bigger collection of works, make more art!), but it has to be enough right now. It will be enough. Because I love it like it is, and that is enough. 

 

Still on a major citrus kick, in case you were wondering.