One of the discussions that came up in the chat was about who we are away from work, and specifically in situations like the one we found ourselves in in that moment - meeting new people, and being given a platform to talk about yourself. Inevitably, the first question (or one of the first, at least) that we ask new people we meet is “What do you do?”
Personally, I don't particularly mind being asked this question: there's only a little separation between Me At Work and Me Away From Work, so I'm happy to answer it. Also, I'm fascinated by what people do for work, so it's a question I have asked loads in the past!
However, I know that's not how everyone feels, and there are a lot of implicit assumptions that underlie that question. Namely, there's the thought that work = the person and the person = their work. That's not true for everyone. Even if you don't subscribe to that, there's still the assumption that work is the most interesting thing about that person. Also not true. There's also the idea that people
have to do work they absolutely love, which I - perhaps controversially - don't believe to be true either (I wrote a
blog on that a couple of months ago). Although usually asked with the best of intentions, it can leave the person asked feeling reduced to a worker and nothing more, rather than the multi-faceted person they are: and that's not what I want at all.
So, here comes my question for you: what would you like to be asked, instead? Picture the scene. We're at a beautiful, intimate, candlelit dinner table, set with floral arrangements whose stems loop and turn: a prelude to the conversation that's to come. You're greeted with a cocktail or a mocktail, an organic-shaped ceramic bowl full of paprika-y parsnip crisps, and the wonderful, warm, welcoming smiles of your fellow supper-ers. Drink in one hand, crisps in the other: what would you like to be asked? What question would give you the floor to introduce yourself how you'd like? How would you like to be seen?
I'd love to know what you think!
