I've been working nonstop on my systems & operations all year thus far and I am ZAPPED. Excited though!! Grab my work playlist in the Party Favor section at the bottom!

When life gets well outside of our control, the loudest voices in your head tend to be the ones that tell you everything is urgent, you should be constantly improving and working on yourself- no excuses, that it’s only natural to obsess over your mistakes, and surely, everyone else has it all figured out so you’re the one who’s wrong. 

 

Mmhm. 

 

 

In that light, I actually have something I’d like to add to the last email on self-optimization that’ll link us into this one- 

 

The real issue I have with this wave of optimization of time, body, and self is that it’s elitist, inaccurate, and falsely-blaming individuals for mounting systemic issues- yes- but it’s alsoooo just another shame-filled ‘should’ wrapped in half-assed truths and unknowns, delivered by ‘thought-leaders’ who have the upper-hand to begin with and know NOTHING about your situation. 

 

 

The body is actually not great at optimizing at all, whether it be managing stress effectively or getting us the energy we need when we need it. Hence why we have to teach our bodies and our minds how to cope so it can adapt to similar situations in the future. 

 

But here's the kicker- the solutions needed for helping the body optimize energy better than it can on its own are already available to us- without the tracking apps, without following plans detailing someone else’s processes, and without stressing over aspects of self-care that are meant to be stress-reducing. 

 

This is one of many reasons why it’s a lost cause to demonize the simplistic things we have access to for improving energy or even enhancing our sense of peace on command in favor of solutions that load on more stress to what we're already experiencing

 

I’ll speak more to these in May’s email series: Food & Exercise Ain’t Shit, but here are a few examples of already-"optimized" resources we have for self-care:

•carbs/sugars for brain fog and muscle fatigue

•protein for stabilizing blood sugar crashes and aiding recovery

•fats for holding over appetite and providing fatty acids needed for brain, joint, and organ health •breathing exercises for regulating the Central Nervous System (CNS)

•micro-nutrients from fruits and veggies to aid digestion, clarity, and organ function

•and social support for mitigating the consequences of inevitable stress (safety, belonging, financial assistance, childcare, etc) 

 

 

We’ve already more than doubled life expectancy, yet most people have a shit quality of life due to a lack of social support and access to these basic-ass self-care resources. So why aim to keep people living longer if we’re determined to make life miserable for them? 

 

And to all the ‘mindset’ zealots, mindset-determined behaviors only apply to people who aren’t living in a state of survival. Mindset-focused interventions are appropriate interventions for situations of privilege where all needs, socially and functionally, are met. Mindset interventions aren’t a principle of health and don’t apply to the majority of people. No matter how convinced a CEO is on the life-changing benefits of drinking green juices, applying infrared treatments on your ball-sack, waking up at 4am, or detailing a vision board.

 

Yes, all of these… ALL of them… are pieces of advice given by ‘high-value’ people on how to get your shit together… *BIG eyeroll energy* 

 

Not to say you can’t do those things regardless of privilege, but people who don’t have to worry about their next meal or paycheck have far less bandwidth and energy to put into dreaming of an alternative life- and baking their ball sacks for “optimized hormone function”- than people who have to dedicate their entire life to work just to pay for basic necessities. 

 

And take note that stressing over doing everything right doesn’t mean you’re healthy or happy. Buying every ‘effective’ supplement, eating clean, and exercising 20 minutes a day does not excuse you from the various trials, bad luck, and poor health life has to offer.

 

 

Since I’m talking to a group of people who have varying experiences of privilege- I myself grew up in an area of poverty, food-deserts, and have personally experienced decades of food-insecurity that lead to a heinous hemorrhoid surgery 😬 - I want to discuss why regardless of your place and space in life right now, there is a universal lesson we can ALL learn from. 

 

As Mike of TheFreeRootsProject on Instagram says often, "if it doesn’t apply to or offer access and use by the poorest of people, it’s not a radical idea." 

 

…and furthermore, in regards to optimization, it's likely a sham. 

 

So if you choose to partake in what I call the ‘micro-greens’ of health and wellness, more power to you! Just recognize the minuscule nature of your efforts and don’t falsely proclaim that you’re the example of optimized health that others ‘should’ aim to model… looking at my nutrition zealots and self-identified ‘high-value’ people of the world. 

 

 

Many of the shit-solutions we chase are just that- a chase. 

 

 

I’m no exception to this, as I also catch myself in reactive states to problems I didn’t know I had while scrolling through social media. Like yesterday, I saw a post on proper breathing where this chick was demonstrating proper breathing techniques versus poor ones. Before I knew it I was in that moment checking to see how I breathe…. Without checking her credentials, without seeing if this person was a respiratory therapist, and without acknowledging my OWN expertise in this topic which grants me the rando-knowledge of knowing everyone breathes differently just like everyone walks differently… it’s a non-issue across the board and needs to be assessed properly in order to identify a dysfunction- which further informs HOW it would need to be fixed IF there is even a compounding problem to begin with.

 

I KNOW BETTER and I was swept up without a second thought. Because I know better, I caught myself quickly- but I then realized so many other people probably experience this too! 

 

Hence this week’s topic. 

 

We’re going to talk about self-determination when it comes to identifying solutions, including identifying when your ‘problems’ are real vs. manufactured. This is one of the self-care pillars I teach my clients throughout coaching and, as you can see, it’s a lifelong process of self-awareness and accountability, as we discussed in the first section/email. 

 

 

I believe that answer is found in your own self-reflection because I believe empowerment comes from within even if it’s informed or inspired by what we see outside of ourselves. You don’t know what you want until you know what you don’t want- and sometimes that requires making mistakes! 

 

So don’t skip out on this, even if it’s uncomfortable- or annoying- because I promise you, it will help your brain connect dots while you read through the rest… DO IT. 

 

K, so 1. Why do you think you have to make yourself ‘right’ before doing anything else?

2. Whose ‘rights’ are you comparing your ‘wrongs’ to?

3. Why to Question #1… and why to Question #2? 

 

 

 

***There are many caveats to this and differs from one person to the next, so don’t be irresponsible to your own detriment and tap into the people who really SEE you and are willing to CHALLENGE you- aka NOT the ‘yes-men’ of your life- to get perspective where needed.

 

(If you don’t have anyone like that, I'm a great friend-for-hire from what my clients tell me. 😉)

 

But despite no one coming to save you or being able to save you even IF they came, one of life's many contradictions is here to let you know that you’re not alone in feeling the way you do- even when it feels lonely as fuck. 

 

 

You don’t benefit from being hard on yourself to “be more” or “do more” in response to stressful or chaotic times of life… despite the few of you that I just heard say, “Well Kelsie, you don't know me because I work BEST under pressure and when I'm ‘on it.’” 

 

…. yeah, sure. Every client I've ever had said that then ended up working with me within 1-2 years. Famous last words those are!

 

When bombarded with stress and other people’s bullshit it's best that you not immediately dog-pile on top to convince yourself that doing more- more workouts, more veggies, more early wake-ups, more pampering, more work, more attentive parenting- will make you a more balanced or better person. Because it won't. 

 

It’s just going to add to the bucket-load of stress you’re already hauling around and makes you significantly more prone to burnout. And if there’s one guarantee about stress, it will undoubtably elicit your WORST behavior. When we’re stressed, our brains resort to the paths of least resistance for survival, which are often self-destructive behaviors that alleviate short-lived experiences while worsening longterm ones- and often are hurtful to those closest to us.

 

What's impacting you right now? Where's your stress at?

What are you wanting to add to your plate on top of it?

What’s required for what you want to do?

Does it take away from care for your life or self?

And is that time that could be used for caring for yourself really look like running in the morning, for example? (Or any of the other ‘shoulds’ you are adding to the mix)

What does that mean for yourself?? 

 

 

 

Empowerment comes from YOU, not from listening to everyone else BUT you. (That's called self-neglect!) 

 

Find your control in the midst of chaos in the healthiest ways possible- whether that be time for yourself, nurturing your most-reciprocal relationships, or even exercise if that’s genuinely it- anything except added stress. 

 

Knowing and practicing are very different things and it’s important you know the difference within yourself and your behaviors. 

 

You can know something is to your benefit without practicing it immediately and choosing to table it for a more appropriate time. Just like you can practice something without knowing it isn’t helping you, but weighing on you. These are the foundations of prioritization skills and self-discipline- words usually associated with berating ourselves vs. practicing self-compassion. There tends to be multiple paths to the same destination- my clients and I prefer taking the more-fulfilling ones. 😉 

 

 

Stress management plays a much more significant role in well-being than food and exercise ever can and you will benefit immensely from re-prioritizing it to be at the forefront of everything you do. 

 

 

Option 1: See the Party Favor Section- there's a YouTube video I made about agnostic approaches to wellness that you may find supportive. Or click here

 

Option 2: Identify areas you’re prone to trying to ‘control’ when it comes to your body, nutrition, exercise, or health because of frustration with your situation or because of stress. 

What’s right for YOU? And WHEN is right? HOW does it need to look? 

 

Option 3: If you feel compromised in finding what’s right for you, I’m happy to hold your hand through the process until you’re confident in the direction you need to go. My door is always open and we can start with a First-Date to see if what I teach is right for you: Apply to work together here. Don't know WTF Self-Care coaching is? Learn more here

•If coaching is a good fit, we'll get you started. 

•If not, we'll get you turned around in the RIGHT direction!