Being a parent of a child under age five has never been easy. During these past two years though, it has been intermingled with uncertainty, frustration, and fear in unprecedented ways. My instinct during this time was to wait it out, hoping to spare my young child from the crazy, uncertain pandemic experience altogether. Our family stayed in our bubble, trying to keep his world as safe as physically (and emotionally) possible.

 

We were lucky: I could stay at home, he didn’t yet have friends to miss, and we had support of many kinds. But it was far from easy.

 

Time passed, and we waited.

 

We waited to see friends, to seek out new parent friends, and help our child make his own friends… sometimes we felt very lonely.

 

We waited to travel and see distant loved ones on important holidays… sometimes we had to defend our choices to those closest to us.

 

We waited for updates and watched changes to mask mandates, vaccine  updates, and isolation protocols, generally with little to no guidance for young children… sometimes we were really angry.

 

I had hoped that the external circumstances - the things outside of my control - would resolve themselves by the time my son was preschool age. But now, more than two years since the initial shutdown, my son is three and eager for new and important opportunities: to make friends, brave new challenges, and find a place outside of home that’s just for him.

 

As my family begins to visit preschools, the joy of this milestone is shadowed by things I hadn’t wanted. Preschool interviews and visits may still require masks. Parents often aren’t allowed to observe teachers and classrooms. And school drop offs this fall might look like a teacher picking him up at our car instead of helping him put his things in his cubby and kiss him goodbye once he’s happily playing.

 

All that waiting - that long, drawn out, emotionally exhausting waiting - and it’s still here. I thought I’d be able to keep all parts of this scary, unwanted pandemic away from my family if I just controlled enough of the variables. But like many things in parenthood, it’s simply out of my control.

 

Here’s the good news though: having things be out of our control is different than being powerless. Frankly, having less than desirable conditions is nothing new to parenthood. Ranging from our children’s unique eating preferences and temperaments, to navigating the differing values of those around us, we are naturally given many opportunities to practice dealing with things we wish were different.

 

Regardless of what’s going on around us, we can always find empowerment, even when things aren’t how we want them to be. Our power lies in the choices we make. Sometimes we get to make a choice for ourselves (even ones we wish we didn’t have to make), and other times we manage how we deal with the choices made for us (wherein lie new choices).

 

Just like when something about our kid’s behavior is bothering us, we are better off managing how we respond and act than trying to control what is outside of our control.

 

Moving forward in my son’s school journey, I may have some dear-to-me choices made for me, but I can still make other choices that will support my family in the best ways possible. I can intentionally create my Plan B that focuses on what I really want (a happy, thriving, and safe preschooler) and find new ways to get it.

 

Even if I cannot control all the worldly variables around me, I still have choices, and I still have the power to make them the best I can, the best I can.