Hey there, First name / friend!

 

Things have been interesting inside my brain lately. 

 

Work has slowed a bit, which I am genuinely grateful for since the pace that I had been keeping was unsustainable. And yet, funny how even though I wished for and intentionally created this space, I still am having a hard time settling into it. With each grateful exhale there seems to be an anxious & shaky inhale. 

 

Here’s the conundrum: 

 

When times are busy, there is a comfort in seeing the regular cash influx into the business—a comfort in that perceived sense of safety. But with that busyness can also come exhaustion. I’ve been pretty clear that my main metric for success has never been only about money, but I also can’t deny that money is still a critical component to surviving within capitalism. 

 

With this newfound spaciousness, I am finding myself feeling more physically, mentally, and emotionally well, but then the financial precariousness of this time begins to weigh heavily on me.

 

I cannot deny that there is this urge to do something. My brain can get really loud telling me, “You have all this time! Now is the time to start working on that big project you’ve been dreaming about. Or better yet, why don’t you think about creating something brand new that can bring in some cash to help bolster you in this period?!”

 

This voice has been pretty darn persistent, and in the past, I’ve listened to it. Continuing to make myself busy. Creating things out of this sense of desperation rather than from a place of true inspiration. Feeling like the space that I’ve yearned for is something to be dealt with and managed rather than something to be experienced and cherished. 

 

 

 

I see it happening with myself right now. This immense desire to do and to fix because the not knowing of when or how I’ll get back to a place of financial stability is scary. But this desire to fix is also assuming that there is something wrong with me, how I’m working, what I’m offering, etc. In actuality, the way I’m working has never felt better. I like the variety of the work I have. My clients are phenomenal. I feel fulfilled and grateful. 

 

So what if this pause really is nothing more than a pause? 

 

What if this break is a gift, a breather, a beautiful nervous system reset? 

 

What if I do not need to do anything other than merely rest? (What a novel concept, right?)

 

I’ve seen it happen with clients, too. There is a slight disruption in the status quo and the immediate response is to react and shift gears entirely. Yes, sometimes that is absolutely warranted. And yet I can’t help but wonder, what if there isn’t anything that needs to be done? What if we merely need to bolster our patience and ride this wave?

 

So that’s where I am for the moment, my friends. I’m leaning into patience and faith and trust and rest.

 

The next time you experience a big shift, I invite you to pause. Breathe into it. Sometimes a pause is just that—a pause. And I can’t help but wonder if a full-hearted embrace of the pause can’t then usher an invitation for change from a place of inspiration and readiness, not from fear.

 

Here’s to the pause.

xo,

M.

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