Dear friends,
In the heavy seasons, the ones where your head is down and you're trusting hard, we often feel completely beyond capacity - probably because we are.
No one can fully understand the burdens, the heaviness, the difficulty. I personally feel like no one can carry it for me - not even my husband. There is so much to do, to weep for, to bear up under, the sheer amount of it is overwhelming.
I used to feel angry that no one could understand.
One day I was talking to a friend about her childhood. She told me how her mother failed to come through for her in a pretty significant way when she was young. “She didn't do what I wanted her to do,” my friend said. “But you know what? Her absence is the reason I met the Lord. He filled that void, and I'm with Him today because of it.”
My friend's mother wasn't right in her decision, but God filled the gap for my friend. I immediately thought of how often I had longed for people to fill a similar void. How often do we expect people to do what Jesus promises to do for us? I know I've lived many years of my life this way. I've longed for people to play a Savior role. I've tried to BE the Savior to those same people.
I am doing a series on conversation and hospitality on Instagram right now (I'm on break but the reels are being posted daily) and this question is relevant to such content. Sometimes conversation and hospitality must be “metered out”, balanced with the stage of life we are in. Josh and I have had to limit how often we open our home at points in our marriage: When he lost his job and I was 7 months pregnant, when we had a newborn, when I was under deadline for a book. Other times we were limited due to our own grief or being split across multiple relationships with people in need. But isn't that the beauty of the church? When one can't bear another up, another person can step in! We need a broad range of believers loving one another so Christ can work through us all.
Last year I was having a particularly hard time with this issue, since I have struggled to adhere to boundaries in this area. “I feel like I am suffocating,” I said to my counselor. “I can't carry it all. I can't help them all. I feel like all I do is disappoint people.”
“Phy,” she replied. “When Jesus gave the parable of the sower, he described four kinds of soil. Three of those types of soil rejected the seed he planted. That means only one quarter of the people to whom Jesus preached believed what he had to say.” She paused and looked in my eyes. “What makes you think you can do better than Jesus?”
Now, when I'm tempted to play the role only Jesus can fill, I pray for wisdom - and I ask that question. You must do what God has called you to do with the people he has called you to do it. But to know that, you have to walk with Him closely, listen for wisdom, do your best to obey, ask for counsel, and offer what you can in the season you're in.
I have spoken before of the “third great awakening” - a movement of believers who are on fire for the Lord, who are growing in Him, who are active in their faith. I believe it is coming. But I also believe that our spiritual life in the Lord can only grow to the degree we allow HIM to be king. I have personally seen how worship of people's opinions has directly hindered my walk with Jesus - keeping me from true love for others and obedience to what He is calling me to do. So - what is He calling you to do? He has offered to carry your burdens. He is stepping in to fill the void. He is strengthening you for the tasks ahead. He is there for you, as He has been there for me - even when the season is heavy.
A disappointment to
the poor left in their wanting
the regime still cruelly reigning
the disciples still expecting
the rich in their achieving
the religious in their striving
and yet, in disappointing
their every expectation,
he fulfilled the only truth
that mattered.
“Thou Long Expected Jesus”, P. Masonheimer
