Have you ever felt so lost, you had no idea what your next step should be? Somewhere between throwing spaghetti at the wall and following every path, and being totally paralized out of fear of making the wrong move, is the blindingly lost feeling.
I felt this when I drove into the town of Ohiopyle, PA and found that the state had “improved” the park by removing trees, buildings and structures that were older than my oldest memories, and replaced them with pavement. I felt this when I stepped away from my brick and mortar business, and my main source of income. I felt this when I left my home and moved to a tiny mountain town in the middle of West Virginia.
People would ask me how I’m doing and I would answer simply, “doing” without any other explanation. I had no idea what was happening with my life. I had zero direction and I felt so much shame around that. Others would take it upon themselves to tell me all the reasons why I shouldn’t live where I do, why my work would fail, that the market was oversaturated, that I was crazy for trusting in a direction that I could not see or explain.
What has happened in the last year? I purchased a product that led to a job as a content creator. I took a trip that landed me a job as a social media manager. Those two opportunities combined gave me the experience I needed to set me up for another marketing position. I started writing to you, and found myself again in these words. I was approached by a director and became a paid actress. I began healing my womb, my heart and took the difficult steps towards sobriety. I can feel the momentum start to build, I can feel my roots reaching down while the crown of my head reaches for the sky.
What does it mean to be planted? It means dark, uncomfortable, difficult, slow and a deep knowing that you are on the edge of greatness.
So, are you currently planted?
Growth Mindset
Set the tone of your life with morning rituals
It is so easy to wake up and get lost in our phones, in our work or in the commitments that have attached themselves to our lives. I believe that the secret to a great day is how you start it. Do you start slow and lay in bed for hours too long? Do you start high and flood your brain with happy chemicals by checking social media, eating sugar or hitting the caffeine immediately? Or do you start calm, with breathwork, and focused with time to plan?
Creating a morning routine has been a game changer for me. I start by taking three deep breaths, then I chug at least five gulps of water + one more to take my fish oil vitamin. Then, I boil water for tea while I do a quick strength based workout (I’ve been swinging a kettlebell around for 2 minutes for the last few weeks). Once my tea is ready, I sit down with my passion planner to plan my day and review my goals. This whole process can take as little as 15 minutes or as long as an hour, depending on what my day looks like.
Week 2, Folicular: take first steps in new goals, gain momentum, redefine & improve
Week 3, Ovulation: wholeness & completion
Week 4, Luteal: slow down, observe, let go, surrender, tend to yourself
Dating
“One of the most expensive things you can ever do is pay attention to the wrong people”
To the ex who wants to get back together, I said you don’t have a shot in hell, but I didn’t explain why. I spent almost two years falling for you, encouraging you, and giving you my time, energy and attention. In that time you lied, cheated, disrespected both of us, numbed your feelings and refused to communicate your true thoughts. When you left me for someone else you didn’t even have the courage to dump me, instead you accused me of cheating, didn’t talk to me for days, left me confused, wondering and hoping despite it all. I spent more time crying over you than we spent happy. You say you miss what we had. You say your life is a mess and you probably need therapy. Please read through all that again and seriously consider why I would pay you any more attention. Why would I jump back into your insecurities? I never want to be accused of cheating, when I did nothing but commit to you. Why would I take on the weight of your past? I have my own healing to do. Why would I give you my energy when you could not give me honestly? I don’t want to be lied to, or used to fill an endless hole.
I wish you no harm. I hope you get it together, I really do. I hope you relearn how to enjoy mother nature and this mountain life without numbing yourself. I hope you practice self respect until it grows into self confidence and you’re able to release the anxiety that fuels your lifestyle. I hope you find happiness on your own, without me, without someone else to fill the void, without the alcohol and drugs that you’ve been leaning on for half your life. Finally, I hope you don’t reach out to me again and I don’t have to pay you any more attention.
