What do you value most about Kate?
Kate’s the total package. She’s fun. She’s smart. She’s beautiful. But I would say I value her friendship above all. She’s a really good friend – she thinks for you, she’s loyal, she’s a good communicator, she values time together. We are good friends, and at the end of the day a marriage is about finding a friend and partner to make a life with.
What advice would you give to a new dad?
Calm down. Most things aren’t as important as you think they are. “Where should they go to school? Are they getting enough social interaction? Do they eat the right foods? How much TV should they watch? How should I discipline them?”. I think that when it comes to parenting, only a few things truly matter and they are all really simple: your kids need to know that you love them; your kids need to know that you like them; your kids need to know that you believe in them. You can get a lot wrong if you get those things right.
Tips for parenting more than two kids and bonding with each?
Still working on this. In terms of bonding, I want to try and find something to do with each of my kids that both of us enjoy. So far, that’s been golfing with Johnny. It’s been easier with him because he’s older and likes sports. I took Scout to a play this summer, and she loved it. So maybe that will be our thing.
What is your favorite NTK recipe?
Favorite books/authors.
Living authors: I really like Amor Towles and Elizabeth Kostova for fiction. Some of my other favorite books: To Kill a Mockingbird, The Great Gatsby, When Breath Becomes Air, Lord of the Rings. I’m a big fan of biographies. I like Team of Rivals (Lincoln), The Snowball (Warren Buffett), and Manchester’s trilogy on Winston Churchill. I’ve read most of what CS Lewis has written. He has had a considerable influence on how I see the world. I also like George MacDonald’s and Henry Drummond’s books.
What is your greatest strength and Kate’s greatest strength?
Kate’s biggest strength is her ability to connect with people. She is authentic and that’s attractive to people – both in real life and on a screen. I’d say mine is the ability to distill large amounts of information into digestible, actionable ideas or plans. I’ve always been able to get through a lot of material or learn about a subject quickly and grasp what’s going on.
How does it feel to work for your wife?
Ask me in a year, lol. But honestly, I don't feel like I work for her. I work with her. There's a huge difference.
I love Kate’s “deep dives” of slippers, bags, etc. What would you do a deep dive on?
Frozen pizza brands.
What’s one thing Kate does that drives you crazy?
Takes forever to get to the punchline! I’m not a good story listener. I think it’s the lawyer in me. In law school, they teach you to lead with the conclusion. (“Such and such is not legal in the state of New York. Here are the three reasons why. I will now expound on the three reasons.”). Kate will start a story with like “you will never believe the terrible thing that happened today” and then build up to the conclusion over three minutes and eventually I just cut her off and I’m like “IS EVERYONE OK OR IS SOMEONE IN THE HOSPITAL OR WHAT’S GOING ON?”
Where do I shop? Favorite brands.
I really don’t shop. I don’t remember the last article of clothing I’ve bought. I usually just want until my birthday or Christmas and then ask for a new pair of tennis shoes or whatever I need. My favorite brands are Coke, Nike, and McDonalds.
What things do you continue from your childhood with your kids?
Letting my kids fall asleep on the couch watching sports.
What is your perspective on child spacing, number of children, readiness for another baby, etc.?
One of my favorite quotes is from Mother Teresa: “If you want to change the world, go love your family.” I think what she is getting it is that “loving your family” doesn’t immediately change the world. It can feel meaningless in the moment. But doing “small” things produces large changes over time. Making something one percent better every day for a year makes that thing 37x better by year’s end. For the last few years, I’ve been stuck on this idea and how it hits a lot of areas of life. In fact, all of life’s great returns, whether financially, in relationships, or in knowledge, come from this principle of compounding. I’m massively in favor of having lots of kids. They are the best way I’ve found to compound your life, both your own personal joy and the good that can be done for the world.
How does it feel to have a wife so many people look up to?
I think it’s great! I’m one of them!
How are you handling health insurance now that you are both self-employed?
Health insurance was definitely one of the things that really stunk about leaving my job. I had good coverage for our family, and I didn’t have to pay much. Right now, we are using COBRA and still on the insurance from my job at Refuel. It’s more expensive but it’s not crazy compared to what I have heard some people pay. We can technically stay on for 18 months. I haven’t decided yet whether we will do that, or just stay on until the end of the year and go through the Marketplace for new coverage starting January 2023.
What is something that Kate does that refills my cup?
I’m an introvert, and our house is really loud. She gives me time or creates an environment where I can be alone sometimes, whether that means leaving the house and going somewhere, or just sitting outside in the sun.
Are you still doing any “law stuff”? Will you miss being a lawyer?
I have friends who are either starting businesses or working on real estate ventures or similar things, and I help them out with various legal issues that pop up from time to time. I’m not doing anything “official.” I liked being a lawyer for the most part, but I don’t think I’ll miss it. It’s a lot different than the TV show “Suits.”
What are your favorite things to do to serve your family?
Do things no one else likes doing. Getting up early with the kids so Kate can sleep in. Cleaning the toilets. Unloading the dishwasher.
Do you see yourself going back to working someday?
I don’t know that I see myself going back into the corporate world. But I think I will find productive things to do, whether that means starting a business, helping others start a business, coaching/teaching, writing, etc. I think there are a lot of things I can still do to add value.
What is your vision for NTK?
I don’t have a grand vision for it. I’m hoping it is something that continues to help people navigate life better and add a little joy to the internet. I want Kate to enjoy it and for us both to feel like we are adding value to people’s lives.
Will you create a podcast or NTK membership?
I actually think a membership of some sort would be a way to create value in the Instagram world. Kate has done an amazing job at building trust with people. She says “no” to a ton of companies who are willing to pay her to promote something. I think a model where the subscribers pay a little bit each month and, in exchange, get a whole slew of things – Kate’s newsletter and other exclusive content, access to deals that Kate has negotiated with brands, etc. – could be an interesting way to align incentives. The revenue from the subscription would allow Kate to never accept payment from a brand, which would mean Kate would have no other incentives except giving good advice. What do y'all think?!
What do you eat in a day?
I stopped eating breakfast so by 11am I’m starving and usually have left-overs, eggs, or a sandwich for lunch. I sort of snack in the afternoon with either like a cheese stick or a few handfuls of pretzels or peanuts. We eat dinner early, around 5:30. Sometimes I’ll have a drink once the kids go to bed and read or watch sports (or both).
