I bought a 25 gram sample of this tea back in March of this year. Yesheng gushu baicha translates roughly as “wild ancient tree white tea,” and it’s a purely descriptive name. “Ancient tree” typically means the trees are older than 200 years. “Wild” means they weren’t cultivated. And white teas are one of the least oxidized forms of tea around. 25 grams is about enough for four steepings, so naturally I did the first three between March and April, and have been holding on to the final 6 grams ever since.
This is one of my favorite teas that I have ever tasted. It’s sweet without feeling saccharine, floral without feeling overbearing. It tastes like liquid sunshine in a spring meadow. It’s one of the most intensely joyful teas that I’ve ever had.
And yet I’ve been holding onto that last little section in a paper bag for almost six months now, and this tea is not alone. Tea overflow box #1 (yes, alas, this is the state of my tea storage now) is filled with teas that have one or two steepings left, and every time I think about drinking them, a little voice at the back of my brain starts whimpering, “but if you finish it, then you will have nothing left!”
I am pretty sure I know where that part of my brain is coming from—a period in my childhood where my dad unexpectedly lost income for months. We had enough to eat in the sense that my mom was able to put food on the table, but it was largely the same thing over and over again, and that thing was “anything she could make out of the 3,000 pounds of wheat she got from a friend.”
For a very long time, I used to try and handle that little voice by saying, “shut up, you’re stupid,” but it turns out that screaming at the part of you that is afraid is not a good way to make yourself feel less fear. I also used to try to handle that little voice by using logic, but it also turns out that childhood fears are not susceptible to logic, either.
So I’m trying something else. I’m drinking the tea. I’m listening to the part of me that says “but if we drink that we will never have anything nice ever again!” And I’m thinking, “thank you for looking out for me. Let’s keep having tea together.”