Do you ever observe your own parent-based fears, doubts, or guilt going on in your head? Kind of like you’re just watching someone else who’s doing the thinking?

 

I’ve noticed this lately, as I empower myself more and more and get more used to having positive self-talk in my head, I notice the negative voices in a different light… It's really fascinating, especially to notice them come up in everyday events.

 

For example, this morning the cap to my son’s liquid vitamin C bottle broke. I transferred it to a new container and decided to label it with the dosage, even though I knew it by heart, because…

 

(here’s the thought I observed, potential trigger warning)

 

“…what if my husband and I die tomorrow, and no one knows what vitamins to give him?”

 

Where did that come from??

 

Now yes, labeling and writing out a vitamin dosage on a blank bottle is a very practical idea. But there are bigger, deeper emotions stirring under the surface of that kind of thinking. Those emotions can significantly influence the rest of our day.

 

We can feel it physically as a slight increase in our heart rate, a subtle tension rising in our shoulders, a small knot forming in our stomachs. Unchecked, those unidentified emotions can unconsciously steer us into an uncomfortable, anxious day where we might not understand why we’re feeling irritable, stressed, or sorrowful.

 

But, when we observe our thoughts and emotions, our trains of thought can stay on track to where we want to go, instead of speeding along out of control ready to derail. Our feelings show up for a reason. They will always have something important to say, even if it’s just pointing out an unhealthy train of thought.

 

It’s like guiding our children: if we listen to them, honor what they are trying to say or do, then we can better guide them in the direction we’d all prefer to go.

 

So when a thought or feeling train comes up for you, stay in the conductor’s seat. Take a moment to acknowledge and validate it (remember, it’s there for a reason). Ask the thought or feeling, “What do you want me to know right now? How are you offering to help me grow?”

 

Sometimes the answer is clear, sometimes it’s incredibly elusive. Tools like mediation, journaling, or talking with a good friend can help you better understand what unmet need your thought or emotion is trying to show you so you can find a solution for meeting it. Give yourself the time you need to dive in and meet your feelings where they are at.

 

We know that it’s not easy to do on your own, which is why we’re so passionate in creating empowering communities.

 

Use the TPEM Facebook group as a place to ask for help. Don’t be shy or worried that no one else will understand or accept the challenge you’re facing right now - because in some way, almost every parent already gets it, because all parents go through the unique yet universal challenges we face while doing the world’s hardest job.

 

This work is important, because you and your needs are important. We’re here to empower you to find new and better ways to meet your own unmet needs, even while you work tirelessly (devotedly) to best meet your children’s physical, mental, social, emotional, and spiritual needs.

 

Our group coaching and individual coaching programs help you do just that so you don’t have to do it alone. Reply to this message so we can talk about if it's right for you. We’re here.