Goal Setting
Hi First name / friend
 
I’ve been thinking a lot about goals the last few weeks. I’m sure it’s the influence of the end of the year, business planning galore and the realization that my oldest goes to High School next year. Something about the stages of my kids makes the finite aspect of time more relevant to me.
 
There are a few lessons I’ve learned about goal setting that have helped me make better goals - not create guilt for another thing left undone.
 
I’m sharing them with you in hopes that they help set your intentions for the coming year.

Pick the next thing — don’t search for the perfect goal.
I used to stress over getting my goals exactly right. Maybe it’s the early financial analyst in me, but I would think way too hard about what happened before, how long I had, what was going to happen, not happen, could happen, should happen. And the act of goal setting became so exhausting that I basically exited the process tired and confused.
 
Instead, I’ve found that picking a goal and then deciding the NEXT THING that needs to be done has been very helpful - and dialed down the overwhelming feeling that can come from trying to change everything at once.
 
Building this newsletter is a perfect example. I want to have an active list of thousands of subscribers. But I actually have no idea how to do that.
 
So, I’ve set the intention: Have a vibrant, engaged community of newsletter subscribers where I can see evidence my experiences and stories are helping.
 
The first step? Tell people about it at the end of every presentation I give. That’s it. That’s the only thing I’ve done - and this list already has hundreds of people who receive it. 
Integrate your goal into a thing you are ALREADY DOING.
I added the newsletter request to a thing that was already on my calendar. It didn’t take a separate activity to make it happen. 
Focus on the new behavior you want to adopt, not the outcome.
After I had Quincy, weight loss was definitely a goal of mine. Instead of focusing on the scale (which can be frustrating and episodic), I focused on the new behavior I wanted to adopt - knowing that my body would respond in time.
 
So, instead of setting my goal as “lose 20 pounds,” I focused on two things:             
  • Lift weights 2x/ week
  • Don’t eat after 8:00p
That’s it. I knew if I started there that the success in those two areas would turn the flywheel of success.
Use questions to guide your goals.
Here are some of the questions I’m asking myself right now as I’m driving kids to practice:
  • What do I want out of my life that isn’t present right now?
  • Where do I want to give to that isn’t getting my time?
  • What should I say ‘no’ to so that I can say ‘yes’ to something else?
  • Are my kids and husband getting what they need from me as we look into the next year?
  • What changes on the horizon could impact our family dynamics?
  • What will that require from me?

Hope this helps you put together the best year yet in 2023.
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Listen In 🎙
Vulnerability has been a recurring topic for me lately, so I reconnected with Nathaniel McGuire – the therapist who conducted my Fear Interview. We dove into the role fear plays in vulnerability, and it was a really great conversation. If vulnerability is a struggle for you, take time to listen and share it with a friend.
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