Earlier this fall, I did presentation training for a group of students. Afterward, one student came up and half-whispered a question.
“Any extra advice for someone with stage fright?”
My heart broke. Immediately, my reaction was to help—to share every lesson I had about stage fright. Then, I PAUSED.
Lately, I’ve been really careful about giving advice—even if asked. (Research has shown that the act of asking for advice lowers a person's confidence. Not helpful, no matter how good the advice!) I'm trying to ask questions instead—to invite the person's expertise.
So I asked, “Well, have you tried anything that’s worked for you?”
The student suddenly BEAMED.
Gone was the whisper. Excitedly, this student told me they'd joined a local professional Toastmasters club to practice their speaking. What?! I was so impressed—and SO glad I'd asked.
We talked about breathing techniques, mistakes we've made, things they were working on—it was fantastic.
I walked away feeling SO GRATEFUL for that pause—that brief moment where I had a reaction (to give advice), paused to question that reaction (wait—is there another way I want to handle this?), then chose to respond in a different way.
Cheers to the power of the pause.
- Dr. Sarah Glova, Co-Editor of 8&21 and Practicer of Intentional Pauses
Mindfulness is a pause – the space between stimulus and response: that’s where choice lies.
- Tara Brach, PhD; meditation teacher and author of Radical Acceptance
- 8&21 -
The art of the pause
I love to talk. A lot. So much that I have dedicated my career to talking and helping other people be more competent and feel more confident about talking. Knowing how to organize and deliver the right words at the right time takes practice. And part of that practice is knowing when and how to take a pause.
A moment of silence is incredibly powerful during a presentation. The power of the pause can be felt by both the speaker and the audience. For the speaker, a pause is a chance to assess how things are going and remember what to say next.
For the audience, a pause can grab their attention and give them a moment to digest what was just said.
Non-stop words can be overwhelming; the pause gives space to process and understand.
The easiest way to incorporate appropriate pauses when speaking to an audience is to take a breath—a real breath, not the shallow nervous breaths that people often take when delivering a presentation. One calm breath can slow the heart rate and get oxygen to the brain, which can help with stage fright.
With practice, these pauses for breath become more and more comfortable and effective. Plus, as a bonus, meaningful pauses help eliminate filler words. (You can’t say “um” when taking in a breath!)
- Dr. Sarah Egan Warren, Co-Editor of 8&21 and Avid Supporter of Presenters
The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.
- Mark Twain, author
- 8&21 -
Pausing the spiral
“Researchers have discovered a vicious cycle between emotions and heart rate. The more stressed you are, the faster your heart beats.
But a faster heart-rate is often interpreted as stress, which means a tough situation can quickly escalate.
If you pause for a moment and take a deep breath, this helps everything slow down and break the cycle.”
- In “Why does taking a deep breath help?” by InnerDrive mindset coaching
Pausing allows you to take a beat–to take a breath in your life. As everybody else is rushing around like a lunatic out there, I dare you to do the opposite.
- Maria Shriver, American journalist
- 8&21 -
All it takes
“It's not only moving that creates new starting points.
Sometimes all it takes is a subtle shift in perspective,
an opening of the mind,
an intentional pause and reset, or a new route
to start to see new options and new possibilities.”
- Olympic gold medalist and road bicycle racer Kristin Armstrong
How has a pause helped you find more intention, or breath, or space?
Great job!
Way to take a pause and give 3 minutes to your practice of pursuing awesome
by exploring this issue's theme. You rock!
Thoughts about this theme?
Us too! We're keeping the convo going on social. Join us:
Did someone forward you this email?
Welcome!8&21 is sent on the 8th and 21st, meant to