The holidays are a special time to spend with our family and loved ones. It is especially magical when you have kids. But it can also be a difficult reminder of how much we miss our loved ones who are no longer with us.
When I was in the depths of grief after losing several people I loved, my therapist said a few really smart things to me. One, when I was crying in her office, she said: you are that sad because IT IS that sad.
The other was: you have to tend to grief. She suggested I look at pictures or listen to voicemails that would make me sad so that I was processing the grief instead of ignoring it. Her words made me feel seen and gave me permission to really feel the sorrow instead of avoiding or suppressing it.
I’m sharing this today because I want to remind you – in case you’ve been feeling sad and missing someone badly – to give your grief a moment too. Even in this supposedly season of joy, it is okay to let sadness in. Grief is unexpressed love. In grief, you can truly find how much love you carry for the person you lost – and isn’t that a beautiful thing? Sad, but very beautiful.
If the experience of grief is resonating with you right now, I’ll leave you with these 2 other reccs that you may find odd comfort in. (I know I did)
- Anderson Cooper’s podcast, All There Is with Anderson Cooper, where he totally opens with how bad grief can be, the depths of pain he experienced when his mom and brother died, and some beautiful moments within.
- Rob Delaney's book, A Heart that Works. He talks about the depths of grief and how awful losing his son is. What I loved best is how his son came alive in his writing. You could sense the silliness and the love in their house. Such a beautiful, short life.
Here’s to holding space this season to remember the ones we love and lost. Grief is hard – I see you and you're not alone.
