Read this quote again. It's good, right? I relate to it in so many ways. Whether it is environment, relationships, community, career, family - I see so many possibilities for this quote to take you somewhere new. Personally, I relate this so much to my mindset and how I have been approaching life and my relationship with Dave.
Dave and I have been having some tougher conversations lately. Convos that make me feel vulnerable and uncomfortable and really sort of pin point areas that I need to work on personally. One of those is my defensiveness (which I talked about on IG and so many of you related!) and this immediate reaction I have to not be wrong. It is honestly something so ingrained in me that I usually don't notice that my response is defense. But it creates this place of animosity and criticism in our relationship where it doesn't need to be. I think I have this inner need to always prove myself or my WHY behind a choice or action and it has created this sort of fight or flight reaction. It's not fun and although it is this place that I've been used to and comfortable in for so long, I know it is not meant for me. It's not where I belong.
A word I told Dave I want to hold value in this year is PERSPECTIVE. I saw this definition for perspective online and it spoke to me: the capacity to view things in their true relations or relative importance. Yes. And I think so much of HOW we hear things or perceive things is based on reaction instead of how they truly are! And it's easy to become comfortable there until you realize one day that it's not where you belong.
So 2023 is my year to push myself to be better. For me, for my family, for my relationships. To gain perspective, to hear, to listen to other people's opinions, to be patient, to be wrong and to take a deep breath and find where it feels to belong. I am definitely on my way, I just have to hone it in a little. Writing these emails to you helps so thank you for listening. I appreciate your friendship!!