When cold weather brings soup season, I remember the time someone told me never to order soup at a business lunch.
I'd asked our server about the soup of the day. When he left, one of my lunch companions leaned over and whispered, “I'd never order soup in front of a client. Slurping isn't exactly professional.” Then she nodded, as if to say—Really saved you there—you're welcome.
I've been given so much advice, as a woman, as a mom, as a business owner—people love to tell you to always, or to never.
All the strict advice—from never be the first to share a number in negotiations to always sleep when the baby sleeps—it's added extra pressure to situations when I needed to make a different call.
So whether it's my role as a parent, wife, business owner, or friend— I try to avoid “always” or “never” advice.
I'm also careful when giving advice. Just because something is true for me doesn't mean it'll be true for someone else.
I know—straight answers are easier, black and white is more clear.
But trusting myself to make the right call—that's usually the better option.
Dr. Sarah Glova, Co-Editor of 8&21 and Fan of Soup 🥣
The open-ended answer
When my students ask a question in my technical writing or public speaking classes, more often than not, they will get an “it depends” answer from me.
Not because I am trying to be difficult or evasive—but because complex questions require complex answers. And those answers depend on so many factors—the audience, the situation, the constraints, the opportunities...
Of course, there are some less effective ways to go about communicating, but there are also so many possible ways that can be explored when youdon’t limit yourself to one-size fits all answers.
And while I am a nerdy rule follower and I love lists and guidelines and best practices, “it depends” really is the most authentic answer I can provide.
A few years ago, my graduate students gifted me this “It Depends” mug to celebrate my favorite response. And I proudly drink my tea from it as I embrace the open-ended answer.
Dr. Sarah Egan Warren, Co-Editor of 8&21 and Fan of Herbal Tea ☕️
Outsmartingvulnerability
“I spent a lot of years trying to outrun or outsmart vulnerability by making things certain and definite, black and white, good and bad.
My inability to lean into the discomfort of vulnerability limited the fullness of those important experiences that are wrought with uncertainty: Love, belonging, trust, joy, and creativity to name a few.”
We shared this issue’s theme with her and asked if she’d consider responding with an original piece. She shared:
“Answering the call to be present can be so subtle. Within the threshold of the most seemingly unimportant moment, the entire universe whispers bending to meet you. Profound!
Don’t fix. Notice what you notice. Pause, breathe. Be curious, mindful. Slow down. Take what’s useful. Discard the rest.Nature wastes nothing.”
Great job!
Way to take a pause and give 3 minutes to your practice of pursuing awesome
by exploring this issue's theme. You rock!
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