Dear Fellow Creators,
In my last newsletter, I wrote that I've been feeling stuck in a loop of creative blockage + imposter syndrome + whiplash + perfectionism, and I'm actively choosing to pursue casual creativity + humility + vulnerability + imperfection. When I finished writing that formula, I felt a surge of hope. Everything will be okay now! I've unlocked the stuck door, released the blockage, solved for x! Words will flow out of me faster than Niagara Falls!
But of course, it isn't that easy.
Today is my grandmother's birthday. She passed away fourteen years ago this spring, but I still feel her presence so strongly. Grandma Evelyn spent her entire life creating, changing the medium every decade or so: painting, collage, dressmaking, stitching, writing. (A quote from her book, THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER, opens this newsletter.)
Yet Grandma Evelyn lived through some hard things. She was born at the start of the Great Depression. She was a teen during World War II. She faced Jewish racism and strained against the binds of 1950s wife-and-motherhood expectations. She lived through cancer. In short, she would understand all of my struggles of today, plus many more.
As I write this, I'm sitting beneath three oil paintings that she created many decades ago-- the first paintings I hung in my new office. All of the subjects are beautiful, but none are smiling. All are contemplative. All invite the viewer to wonder. There's depth there, as there was to all of her art.
It occurs to me that maybe my struggle to create, lately, means I'm coming into a new depth.
The subtitle of my newsletter is “The Joyful Creative.” Sometimes it's harder to feel the joy. But the creative part? That's my North Star. I have faith that even if I'm feeling lost, or sad, or disappointed in myself, creativity will come back for me. Just as it always did for my grandmother.
