Dear First name / friend
Do you want the truth or something beautiful?
I believe that often the most beautiful thing is the truth.
When I wrote a pretty candid newsletter two weeks back about how everything was feeling all too much for me, I lost two subscribers. I don't like that that bothers me, because it's ignoring the majority of you who are loyal and loving readers, but it did. It doesn't mean I was wrong, or they were wrong, but that we weren't right together.
As I write this from having taken a few days of absence off work because the man I had grown to love ended things between us (compounded by general difficulties working in the NHS etc. etc.), I realise that there is beauty in vulnerability, and a beauty in the truth. I felt afraid of taking time off for a relationship that been just shy of two months long, but I'm glad I did because the healing and the processing requires dedicated time and space.
It takes courage to realise that it is only in being truthful that you will attract the people who are meant for you - and I mean that as much in life as in this newsletter. If you are truly yourself - with all your bows and frills and woes and glory - you will attract people who deeply accept and love you. If we try to speak to everyone, we speak to no-one; if you mould yourself to fit around others, you yourself are a million different shapes.
It hurts to hear that you're not right for somebody, for whatever reason you attempt to land on, but it is a far greater pain to be someone other than yourself in order to fit someone's else idea of you.
Mindful tip: Are you confident in being exactly who you are? It takes compromise to be in a relationship, there is a necessary bending - this is not a mistake. But you can bend in a way that is still in alignment with your values and doesn't compromise your integrity. Have you noticed that when you're truly “yourself”, you attract the right sort of people in your life? I think that's why people say when you deeply love and accept yourself, you invite others to do the same: I think it's just because you finally were able to send the invites out to the right people.
