The black cows saunter across my field of vision, slowly making their way through the snowy lane to their empty feeders - waiting for Farmer Bob to come with more silage. I can hear the feet of five children running upstairs (the girls have friends over after homeschool group) and I'm thinking about what to send in this newsletter.

 

I decide to keep it simple, to keep it to the kind of thing I'm living: how to make God a priority on the busy days. Because I get it - that's where I am.

 

There will always be those days we don't get to the Word, and there will always be people to tell you: It's okay. Give yourself grace. Some days we need that. But other days we need to be reminded that the Word of God is the word of life and we need it more than anything. Some days we need grace. And some days the grace is a kick in the pants to do the hard thing. We need the Word to live the kind of life we all want, the kind we are all striving for. The Word is the difference between striving on our own strength and relying on His, but so often we put Him off. We replace Him with anything and everything else: sleep, Netflix, social media scrolling, texting, laundry, and friends.

 

We will do almost anything else before we will meet Him. And then we wonder why we don't know His voice.

 

I understand this temptation as much as the next person. This morning, after my husband and I worked out, I had 20 minutes before we had to leave for homeschool group. I had the lunches packed and my teaching supplies by the door and somehow I found myself with a knee tapping nervously, trying to think of other “preparations” to do. My Bible sat in the basket on my coffee table, ready to be used. The reading plan was right there (I'm leading the Bible in a Year Club with the Every Woman a Theologian community plan). I even had a cute bag of highlighters and sticky notes and my journal (coming to the spring launch 2/23!).

 

So what was my excuse?

 

Truth was, I had none. I was procrastinating. I was giving into my fleshly desire to avoid the thing I needed most.

 

So in that moment of resistance, I chose to step INTO the discomfort instead of running from it. I chose to open the Bible on my lap and read one chapter. Take a few notes. And that turned into more. I ended in prayer and I started Monday so much happier - because the Lord knew I needed Him, and I only discovered that by showing up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I attended a PCA church for some of the time I lived in Virginia and absolutely loved it. You can definitely make it work if you are willing to overlook the differences in soteriology that will come through in sermons, worship, and in discussions with your friends. I would probably say you'll need to “out” yourself eventually and prepare yourself to defend your point of view, but most godly, humble Calvinistic/Reformed Christians will overlook the difference. The reason we ended up leaving that church was mostly due to differences on the issue of baptism (believer's vs infant). But if you can agree with the church structure and overall doctrine enough to participate fully, it can definitely work.

 

 

I love and use cast iron daily! Whatever oil I have on hand is actually what I use. Often that's olive oil, but if I cook bacon in the pan I'll be sure to rub a little of that into the pan after washing it with hot water. I'll do the same with butter. I try to cook really fatty foods the first few uses of cast iron - like browning beef or melting butter - and rubbing the rest into it. I seasoned mine in the oven a few times but honestly daily use has seasoned them best! (we haven't used any nonstick pans for almost 2 years)

 

 

As you probably know, I relate to this very much. I can easily call to mind every pornographic scene I've ever read from books dating back to my early teens (when I was exposed). This includes content in “Christian” romance novels. First, my encouragement: there will come a day, if you grow in the Spirit and in discipline, that these memories will not come to mind so easily and you will find yourself more and more free from them! Until then, there is some work to do. The Spirit is sanctifying you, but you must participate in His sanctification. And that means listening to what He wants you to remove or add to your life. 

 

Things I had to remove in my season of separating from my porn addiction: move theaters, streaming media, fiction books (at least without heavy screening; usually I read only classics), some social media, sexually promiscuous music (even the “harmless” stuff).

Things I added in: being outdoors, reading great literature, hobbies (like cooking, or drawing, or writing poetry), spending time with godly friends, being in the Word, listening to music that was uplifting or just instrumental.

 

When we remove something we must replace it with something better. This is the season of changing your tastes; you're training your mind to consume what is true, good and beautiful. And that takes time. DO NOT be discouraged, intimidated, or cowed by friends who think you're becoming a “prude”, who mock you watching old movies or reading old books or abstaining from the things they are free to do (however un-beneficial they are). Remember that you are doing what is best for YOU and the Lord's will for your life. Chances are they're just convicted by your decisions.

 

It took years of separation from these things for me to re-train my thoughts; I'll be honest with you. But in the meantime I cultivated a taste for better things, and when I eventually became stronger and more free I didn't really desire a lot of that stuff anymore. That may be the same for you <3 (PS there is a new podcast out called Liberator for men and women recovering from porn. It looks good!)