Dear First name / friend

 

You may have heard of Thich Nhat Hanh. Quotes of his are often scattered across various Instagram pages, websites, newsletters or Pinterest searches. He was a Buddhist monk and often called ‘global spiritual leader’ best known for making the practice of Buddhism and mindfulness accessible to Western communities. I stumbled across his YouTube channel, Plum Village, a few months ago and this week I found myself reaching for its wisdom again. 

 

Spread across a few mornings this week as I was getting ready for work, I listened to a talk called ‘How to Love Oneself’. In this talk, Dharma teacher Sister Dang talks about why we often find ourselves reaching for our electronics after a long day, and the impact this has on us emotionally.

 

Since living by myself, this is a constant struggle of mine. I often reach for TV for background noise whilst I'm pottering around and for distraction after work; maybe you do, too. 

 

Sister Dang describes how when our job is very stressful, our cup is full. We feel tense and wound up, often with a knotted or restless feeling in our bellies. When we reach for our electronics to help ourselves feel better, we're only adding emotion to an already full cup. Each TV show or video game or social media short has its own emotional content which we then experience through the screen and take on.

 

 

We briefly escape and then we repeat the same thing again tomorrow. 

 

The antidote to the stress or anxiety we feel is, Sister D says, to come back to the breath. We remind ourselves, through connecting with our breath, that we are home. We are safe. We can let go and relax now. She has this beautiful way of just repeating ‘I love you’ ‘I love you’ and talks about the way in which we are our own soulmate; we are our own best friend. 

 

This is why yoga is a powerful tool for de-stressing, because we re-find that connection to the body through the breath.  

 

 

 

We've been talking at work about this idea of being a victim, and how to get yourself out of it. The word ‘victim' has only negative connotations, I'm sure, but actually being a victim is very normal and only becomes a problem if prolonged. Being a victim could look like anything from being annoyed you got a parking ticket or falling out with a friend, to having something horrendous happen to you, like losing a loved one or experiencing a significant trauma like violence or abuse. When we stay in the role of victim for too long, constantly reliving the negative thing that happened to us, retelling the story with anger, resentment and blame, the only person we serve to hurt is ourselves. We become trapped in our negative emotions, negative thought patterns and start to experience anything from depression and anxiety to back pain and irregular periods. 

 

 

Mindful moment: So, the next time something bad or annoying happens to you, can you find other things in your life to be grateful for? What can you learn from this experience? (Of course, the smaller the tribulation, the easier this is!) Use gratitude to help yourself feel better.