Let It Go!!!
 
“Control the narrative” my husband told me the night before. I tried to remind myself of this as I cringed while I watched Frozen with my daughter. She had been asking for months to watch this movie when she saw one of her classmates dressed as Elsa for Halloween. I had stuck to my guns and told her no, because I knew that there was no form of representation within this movie. I didn't want her to sit and watch a movie with only white characters because I know how impressionable young children are. So I held out, and held out, and HELD out. Until my husband made a very valid point:
 
“If we keep something from her that she is really interested in she will seek it more. OR someone will tell her THEIR version of the story. If you let her watch it, you can control the narrative and use it as a teaching moment.”
 
Cognitively I knew he was right, but emotionally it was hard for me. You see, white parents don’t have to worry about finding the right show for their kids to watch (in regards to representation that is). There is a plethora of media options that their children can choose from AND can identify with. But as a Black parent, the task of trying to find appropriate, relatable, and identifiable programs for our children is a daunting task.
 
For me, showing Faith a movie full of white princesses was a tough decision. Why? Because I do not want her to measure her beauty to what white society deems as beautiful. I don't want her to compare herself to white society. I don't want her programmed into thinking that whiteness is the standard of beauty.
 
But then, I realized something. If I didn't let her watch it I was taking away an innocent portion of her childhood, because at the end of the day most little girls like Frozen. So, I was forced to not deprive her of this childhood moment. But at the same time, I realized that I was also forced to teach her how inappropriate (and abnormal) it was to see no Black characters in this movie. A lesson that you may feel is too soon for a nearly 4 year old, but a lesson I know as a Black mother needs to happen sooner rather than later. 
 
Again my daughter is at a very impressionable age, so for me it is my parental (and cultural) obligation to instill in her why Black representation is crucially important. If I don’t, I may end up witnessing my child wanting to identify more with whiteness than with the beauty of her Blackness. And that is not a risk I am willing to take on any level; because it is important for my daughter to know of Black beauty and how we as a people are so beautiful there really is no comparison to anyone but literally ourselves.
 
As I reflected on these things, in the midst of letting her watch PART of Frozen, I remembered a few things that help me through that moment. I remembered how my daughter wanted to be Princess Tiana for Halloween and was the cutest version of her ever (see above pic). I remembered that she watches Gracie’s corner and sees a little Black girl with beads in her hair like she wears sometimes. I remembered how excited she is to see Ariel in May, featuring Halle Bailey a Black woman who is making headlines for starring in this role. I remembered that I have yet to show her the historical Black version of Cinderella, featuring Brandy and the late great Whitney Houston. And I remembered that we have talked to her about the original Kings and Queens from ancient Kemet (Egypt), and how they were beautifully dressed and clothed in lavish garments, and how they also left their mark on the world that is still relevant today.
 
I then remembered that I have the continued opportunity to remind her of the beauty of her Blackness that is unmatched by Elsa or any of the other white princesses that get more shine than any of the other princesses of color, let alone the Black ones. So I took a deep breath, gritted my teeth, and somewhat did as the song in Frozen says, I “let it go.” Because ultimately the most important princess Faith will learn about and be exposed to is herself. She is truly the most beautiful Black princess of them all! Until March, make sure you do something that will help you Bloom Into Your Best Self. . . 
 
A section just for you...
 
REFLECT
 
Find a piece of paper (or use the note section in your phone): 
Think about the kids in your life (FYI you don't have to be a parent to have kids in your life). 
What ethnicities are they exposed to in media? In books? In toys? Do you talk to them about culture? If so, how are you talking to them? What methods are you using? If not, it's time to start, because teaching kids to be "colorblind" (or avoiding these topics) is the most damaging thing we as adults can do to our babies.
 
 
 
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