First name / Friend,
If you could only pick one thing to be the top priority in your life right now, what would it be, and why?
This month I'm going to share a quick story about my one thing, but if you're in a time crunch, scroll down for some good journal prompts below…
If you read last month's Coaching Corner, I shared about the topic of overwhelm - specifically, what to do when a lot of things happen in your life all at once, and you are on complete overload.
It turns out that despite my efforts to practice the four methods I shared (all of which I still fully support, by the way), that it wasn't moving the needle. I felt like I wasn't measuring up in my work or my life.
The reason why?
While I was trying my best, I was still hustling for my self-worth and trying to do everything perfectly. The expectations I had of myself were never realistic to begin with.
I had finally hit my limit. I shared my frustrations with my women's business mastermind group the other week.
My friend, Lauren, looked at me and said: “maybe what your business needs right now is nothing.”
This stopped me dead in my tracks. It was the best thing anyone could have said to me that day.
Lauren's words ended up serving as a catalyst for further reflection and action, which led me to two key conclusions:
1 - By taking a pause on goal setting, action planning, and hustling for my business, I would conserve my energy and have stronger outcomes later this year. And the reality is, right now I am doing important work for amazing clients, and do not have the capacity to do more.
2 - In order for me to feel happier, energized, and grounded, I needed to focus on one thing: my health.
Without getting too personal (or turning this newsletter into a 15 minute read), my health is very important to me right now. I'm changing my relationship with alcohol, working on my mobility and strength, getting married in June, and exploring the idea of building a family in the future.
In short: I know that taking care of my physical, mental, and emotional health will be the number one driver to my happiness this year.
My health is my one thing because without it, I will not feel at my best or be able to achieve the results I want in my business or in my life. Period.
Here's how I know: If I'm drinking more than is ideal for me, I won't sleep well during the night. If I don't sleep well, then I will wake up feeling tired and anxious. If I wake up feeling tired and anxious, I will likely skip my workout and morning routine. If I skip my workout and morning routine, I won't feel as energized during the day, and will be less productive. If I'm less productive, then I won't deliver the quality of work I want to for my clients, or meet my goals. Then at the end of the day, I will beat myself up for not doing “enough.” Catch my drift?
So for now, I am letting go. I'm letting go of my house being messy. I'm letting go of not having every detail figured out for my wedding. I'm letting go of not having perfect goals for The Thirlby Company. I'm letting go that I didn't go to the gym while moving my business and life to a new city.
And now I'm making my health my number one thing. Making this commitment to myself over the past week has been a radical act of self-love and empowerment.
Since then, I've visited three new fitness communities. I'm half way through Sober Curious (one of the best books I've read in ages). I'm getting outside and walking my dog. And I've been keeping the fridge stocked with healthy food and magical Spindrift flavors. And it doesn't feel like work.
I've been able to do these things because I've given myself permission to let go of the other things.
As a result, I feel free again. I'm less anxious, more energized, and genuinely excited to take on big things in the future - which will happen when I'm ready to move forward.
. . .
So - are you ready to identify your one thing?
If you could think of one thing that would be the greatest driver of your overall happiness in your life right now, what would it be?
Please note - health is only one example, and your thing does not have to be something huge - it just needs to be deeply important to you right now.
Your one thing could be spending quality time with your partner. Taking up a new hobby. Phone calls with a parent. Revamping your resume and applying for new jobs. Meditation. Going to counseling. Whatever you need to feel at peace.
Not sure where to start? Consider the following journal prompts to help identify your one thing:
1 - What is energizing you the most right now? Fill in the blanks: “Lately when I do X, I notice I feel a lot of joy and energy afterward."
2 - In your professional life, what is the most important thing you want to change or accomplish this year? What will you need to do in order to make that happen?
3 - In your personal life, what is the most important thing you want to change or accomplish this year? What will you need to do in order to make that happen?
4 - What is the one nagging task or goal that you can't seem to tackle right now? What variables are getting in the way?
5 - What do you need to let go of right now? Where can you give yourself more grace or take a pause in your life? Write down a list of those things.
. . .
As ambitious and well-intentioned humans, it's easy to engage in perfectionistic and black and white thinking. These tendencies halt our progress and prevent us from living our happiest lives.
When we return to our values, practice self-compassion, and narrow down our priorities, that is when the magic unfolds.
I would LOVE to hear back from you about your one thing. Reply to this email once you think you've narrowed it down.
