Hello friends,
I hope this newsletter finds you all well, eagerly awaiting the beginning of Spring. This month, I wanted to focus on something very near and dear to my heart and I thought now would be the perfect time as we, hopefully, welcome a season that signifies new beginnings and possibilities.
Self-compassion, and my recent practice of it, has changed my life for the best. “Self-compassion”, described by the phenomenal Shauna Shapiro, PhD is “treating ourselves as we would treat a dear friend who is having a hard time. We learn to bring kindness, affection, and tenderness to our own suffering. We learn to be on our own team, instead of berating or rejecting ourselves." The three core elements of self-compassion are mindfulness, kindness, and common humanity. You may be wondering what any of this has to do with equity, so let me explain…
The combination of the COVID pandemic (especially witnessing its effects on my patients and their families) and the brutal, racial reckoning that simultaneously erupted in America was crushingly heavy for me---I found myself embittered by the things that had once brought me happiness. My wake up call happened when a close family member shared with me that I had become very angry, and unlike myself. Even though I wanted to wholeheartedly reject his words, I instead sat with them uncomfortably for a long time. I realized that something had to shift internally in order to stay true to the roles that meant the most to me----mother, partner, friend and physician. My regular self-care routine of eating well, exercising, confiding in my supportive partner and staying in close contact with trusted friends was not enough to sustain me for the first time in my life.
As I searched for ways to feed myself the nurturing and healing attention that I craved at that time, I was invited in attend a day retreat for healthcare providers in Pie Ranch, CA. It was there, in a beautiful outdoor setting, surrounded by nature and amongst a group of people for the first time in many months, that I first heard the term, “self-compassion". I do not consider myself a deeply religious person, nor am I proficient at meditation and yoga, things that some might feel are natural gateways to a spiritual practice. Although unfamiliar, something about this concept really resonated profoundly within me and I went home with a potential newfound compass to lead me back to myself.
Through my deepening understanding of how to practice self-compassion, I have learned a very important lesson. Self-compassion equals longevity in the professional caring of others and especially in (health) equity work. Those of us that have decided to challenge the status quo and fight for health equity know that there is a tremendous amount of violent push back for this work----there are many folks that are deeply against us collectively standing up and demanding change because they are content with where they personally stand in society's hierarchy of power and feel threatened with the prospect of creating a more equitable world. Sadly, I know that hate and fear are common weapons utilized to keep us silent and resigned to live in a racist world, under racist systems. My coat of armor against the continuous micro/macro-aggressions, heavy minority tax and humility that is inherent to teaching racial health equity has evolved from self-compassion. This suit of armor by no means can protect me from everything and anything, but I feel its durability shine outwards to propel me forward when I am disheartened and unsure of my own role in this work.
I know that this specific practice may not be for everyone, but the lesson here is not to follow my exact path but to find your own and commit to it, regardless of where you are along your own personal life journey. Self-compassion is more profound than the basics of self-care, it extends beyond the consumerism of occasional facials, massages and fancy dinners, which I also greatly enjoy partaking in when the opportunity arises. I feel that it is an invitation to cultivate something deeper within yourself, that takes little money and as little time as you choose to dedicate to its continuous practice. I wish I could assure each of us here what is the right way to achieve the objectives of self-compassion, but the truth is that this is a very individual process. I am including below some potential sources of inspiration for you to enjoy this month. There is nothing I hope for more than our collective longevity in healthcare, advocacy AND health equity work because, quite simply, the world really needs us--- not only for our heartfelt humanity, but for our tenacity and strength to keep pushing this agenda forward.
In solidarity,
Amna
