Every Woman a Theologian
— Running Ahead of God —
Image item
Dear friend,
A few weeks ago I was puttering in the kitchen with Josh. We were talking about a desire percolating in my heart.
“I know myself. I can't commit to anything yet because once I do, I'll burn myself out." I fumbled with the coffee maker, grinding beans and pulling out the glass carafe as I talked to Josh over my shoulder.
“What are you thinking of committing to this time?”
“I want to host another local bible study. Like I did a few years ago - the Roundtable? Resurrect that, for the younger women in the city. Anyone who wants to come. But…” I paused. “I don't have time right now. And I don't know exactly what my goal is yet. I just know God has laid it on my heart to start something new. I just don't know HOW.”
Josh put his cup in the sink. “Probably wise not to do anything, then.”
“Right. Not my norm.” I chuckled. Over the years I've made a habit of coming up with good ideas and simply… starting them. Without much planning and sometimes without much prayer. Waiting to start something -- as opposed to the “figure it out as I go” model I'd dragged my husband through in the past – is a new step for me. 
But after dealing with the consequences of overcommitment, big ideas with little planning, and unnecessary (avoidable) anxiety, I've made a point in the last few years to wait and pray. It's a stark difference from my modus operandi of running ahead of God.
When Eva was a baby and before I broke my leg in 2019 our small group ran a 5k together. It was a crispy early May Saturday - barely spring and about 45 degrees. We bundled the babies in our double stroller and showed up to the race. I'd been “training” for weeks (I hate to run) but as we took off down the trail, it only took a half mile for Josh to outpace me. By the time we hit mile two, he was running a 7:30 mile WITH the double stroller. I was left in his dust, finishing what felt like an hour after him. 
It was all in good fun. He's disgustingly good at running. But when I think about my spiritual life (the only place I'm decently good at running, it seems) I can see myself in Josh's shoes and God in mine. **For the sake of analogy ONLY of course.
I grab my kids, my plans, my life and my good ideas and just take off. Book it down the trail. I've got goals to meet and deadlines to keep. In our 5k Josh was on the right route but so often, in my “race" of real life, I don't stop to ask the Lord if the route I'm running is the one He wants me on!
In the last year, as Every Woman a Theologian has grown, I've had to step back and slow down. I've had to do my due diligence to think: Is this actually what God is asking, or is this just what ministries “do”? Is this project the right commitment, or is this just expected of me as a Christian author? Is this issue one I should address, or is there someone better to address it? Is this desire I have to minister in a specific way the call of God or my desire to play Savior?
And if it IS a desire God has given me, He won't be offended or limited by my waiting for His leading. I'll actually be more in tune to His leading by waiting for Him to… I don't know… actually lead.
I began spending time in the last few weeks praying over this new Bible and theology training for my local community. Rather than pick the night, begin inviting, begin planning prodding processing and perusing, I've been praying and waiting for God to speak. It's an actual practice of self control, this waiting for God rather than running ahead of Him. But wildly (because He is full of surprises, and He speaks so personally!) those specific prayers have been specifically answered. Doors have been opening I never imagined. And my excitement builds even more because the slowness has led to a fuller picture of what He wants to do in my specific situation.
Perhaps you also run ahead of God. Maybe you have super great plans (like I think I do!) and the will to accomplish them. My first clue I'm outpacing God is an oppressive anxiety over the “good” thing I've committed to. When I sit down and look at my “yes”, I usually realize: I didn't pray about it. I just said yes because it blessed others, seemed like a God thing, and I was afraid what would happen if I said “no”. Sometimes I even believe I'm SO necessary God can't find someone else if I DID say no (yikes!!! ew gross!).
Let's stop outpacing God. Maybe wait a minute. Maybe let Him lead.
Christ will lead you. But we hear Him best when we wait, pray specifically, and listen diligently. Of course the primary way we hear Him is in His Word! He also speaks to our hearts through prayer but He does so most clearly when we've been in Scripture. If you want to know what God thinks, start there. Then pray. And don't just pray general prayers - pray specifically! 
Image item
This Week's Agenda

Monday: I did Ask Anything Monday on Facebook and Instagram (Insta Q/A expires Tuesday afternoon). I have been typing out my answers to questions, but I may alternate video and typed since people are saying they like both!
Tuesday: Typically the Conlectio goes out on this day and I do a discipleship chat/deep dive into theology topic on Instagram. This week, I missed both!
Wednesday: In stories today I talked about why the Jewish feasts are not required for Gentile Christians and how this doctrine (emerging in Pentecostal and dispensational/evangelical circles) has laid a burden on Christians.  We also have a new Verity Podcast episode - this week is Bible Study for Your Learning Style!
Thursday: Day in the Life on Instagram stories. You get to come along for a normal day behind the scenes at Every Woman a Theologian and on our farm.
Friday: Product and book recs on IG if I'm online.
Every day: I check in on Bible in A Year Club (reopening in June to start in Genesis) and answer comments/questions on IG and FB. My team helps answer DMs and emails and directs them to me when they can't answer them.
Image item
My Five Faves

  • Annual Titanic Dinner: We had the honor of continuing our tradition of the annual Titanic Dinner with our friends Joel and Kate! This annual five course dinner is in period dress and is held at a local historic hotel. In between courses they reenact parts of the Titanic story - this time was the Senate hearings with White Star Line. It's the sweetest, small town night out. Josh even turned out with period correct facial hair! (My dress is thrifted!)
  • Liberator Podcast: I had the opportunity to be interviewed by Layton and Chelsea (who only live an hour and a half from me!) on this amazing podcast about finding freedom from pornography. It's rather new with only eight episodes but many more are to come!
  • Lindywell Pilates 14-day Challenge: I am three days into this challenge with my favorite Pilates program (doing this alongside a light strength training workout with Josh, and walking outside)! This is my favorite online workout program hands down. I even got to interview Robin about the difference between yoga and Pilates and how her motto of “grace over guilt” leads to consistent workout habits. It's not too late to join the challenge and get your first month free! Join here.
  • Our Ministry Partners: One of the reasons Every Woman a Theologian has accessories and our Verity Home line (earrings, keychains, home products for beautifying a place of hospitality-evangelism) is the opportunity to partner with companies that support those in need. The companies we partner with (such as Empowered Goods, SelaDesigns and the manufacturer of our Kantha bible study bags) generously provide for families in need, sexual abuse victims, single parents, and refugees. When you buy from our shop we not only donate to our local church and tithe to parachurch organizations, the vendors we use are also donating profits to great causes.
  • How to Eat an Elephant Podcast: Some of my readers told me about this and I AM OBSESSED! I read five chapters of War and Peace each night and listen to this podcast the next day. It's been such a fun part of my routine.
At Home with Phylicia

A little glimpse of what's bringing us joy at home: routines, books, kitchen and home life.
  • Week 20 of Classical Conversations: This week in CC we're studying south Central Asia, the Vietnam War, and Beethoven. We spent some time listening to the Fifth Symphony and talking about how the music changes and how we feel as we listen to it (I have my students draw a picture of what they feel/see in their minds as they listen!)
    • For new friends: Classical Conversations is our curriculum but also our homeschool group. I teach ages 8-10. Adeline and Eva are both in their own classes. CC provides the curricular “spine” but we buy specific math and phonics curricula for teaching those subjects. You can go as deep or light as you wish with CC; ideally going deeper as they get older. We use songs and ASL hand motions to memorize history, science, English, and more.
  • Daily Chores: Every Thursday I show our chore routine, which we run through from about 9-10 AM before starting school. Here's a list of what our kids do as we work as a family team. These are also broken out in Raising Tiny Disciples.
    • Addie:
      • Empty trash with sister/brother
      • Empty dishwasher with sister/brother
      • Dress for the day
      • Make bed
      • Vacuum the zone of the day
      • Dust with sister/brother
    • Eva:
      • Empty dishwasher
      • Water plants
      • Fill diffusers
      • Help with trash
      • Dress for the day
      • Make bed, pick up room, vacuum room
    • Ivan:
      • Empty silverware
      • Pick up toys
      • Help with other chores as needed
  • Favorite Children's Books: Here are some we've finished and loved this spring.
    • Brambly Hedge
    • James Herriott's Illustrated Collection
    • Rev. Awdry's Thomas the Tank Engine Collection
    • Beatrix Potter's Complete Collection
    • The Ology
    • Read It, See It, Say It, Sing It
  • What I'm currently reading:
    • Still reading There's No Such Thing as Bad Weather, War & Peace, Leviticus commentaries, Becoming Free Indeed and some poetry books by Toyohiko Kagawa.
“Prayer doesn't work," say 
the people
who pray with 
eyes closed,
get up from their knees
and never open those eyes again.




for the awakening,