Hey, First name / you 🥰✨
It's me, Nikbo. Shuffling into your inbox in my fuzzy house slippers to bring you Weird + Ugly: Issue #1.
The idea for Weird + Ugly was a gift from Sadia Bruce. I attended one of her workshops at Esalen to study the power of breath. At the beginning of our first class, Sadia put on a playlist and invited us to warm up with some movement.
It was 9AM, and I was feeling conspicuous amongst 25 strangers in this oceanside yurt. Sadia called us to our feet, and prompted us lift our heels up and down to the beat. Cool. Easy. I can do that.
Keeping us within the safe boundaries of our yoga mats, she cued us to move the rhythm up to our hips… our waists… our shoulders… then our arms. Cool cool, I can do those things, too.
As the next song started to build in intensity, she invited us to step off our mats to dance-meet another person. And to move bigger. Yipes. I side-eyed my neighbors, and my breath and heartbeat quickened. I was in my head, worrying about what I looked like to these strangers. I felt like a pigeon and overcompensated by making my over-excited theater face.
Then Sadia called into her Britney mic, “Make it weird! Make it ugly!” And that set me free.
“Make it weird” invites curiosity and play. It gave me permission to experiment, to explore movement in my body beyond what felt cozy and familiar. I tried on some silly moves, sexy, aggressive, psychedelic, subtle, feral, fun. I met new aspects of myself while weird-dancing. I highly recommend trying this at home.
These days, I still worry about what people will think of me… but, when I'm able to catch myself I try to remember that instead of avoiding what feels weird/ugly, I can turn toward it. Getting curious about what's making me feel like a weird uggo can help me understand what'll make me feel more free.
Since Sadia's workshop, I've been collecting things that speak to my Inner Weird Uggo. Every month, I’ll share a few things that inspire me to move beyond my self-consciousness. I hope these nuggets invite you to express yourself more freely, too.
Love,
Nikbo
