Hi dear readers,
As a young woman, I sincerely thought the most challenging job title I would ever associate with my name would be “physician”, until I became a mother. My first pregnancy happened in the second half of my Pediatrics residency program. My unborn daughter accompanied me to Code Blues and long, overnight calls. At the time, there were no parents in my residency class and I became the first one to cross over the imaginary, but palpable, threshold of motherhood. My first child’s existence humbled me many times over from the moment she was born, dramatically rearranging what mattered most to me in life. The process of becoming a mother has truly honed all five of my senses and equally grown my heart larger than I could have ever imagined. May is for mothers, and this month, we pause together to commemorate motherhood, in all its complicated and beautiful manifestations.
In the safe space of my clinic exam room, I have the privilege of spending hours with countless mothers. These mothers are predominantly immigrants, refugees, asylum seekers and of lower socioeconomic status. In listening to their life’s greatest challenges, the question of who gets to mother in alignment with their values, hopes and dreams in the US arises daily. The equity of motherhood, the assurance that every mother can raise their children to the fullest of their abilities, is increasingly a luxury allotted to some, not all. I sit uncomfortably with the recognition that my own motherhood is often so delicately balanced atop many factors within my control yet, some days, still feels so heavy even with the abundance of resources I have at my disposal. When I step into my pediatrician role at the county, I place myself in another mother’s shoes, travel alongside and guide her as she navigates raising children without the basic infrastructure of shelter, citizenship, food security, easily accessible medical care and equitable education. Some might say that my job as pediatrician should stay limited to the prevention, evaluation, assessment and treatment of disease, as this was what I was ultimately trained to do. After 11 years of serving my resilient, yet vulnerable patient population, I know for certain that in order to attain overall wellness, my job must examine and challenge the upstream social and political factors that contribute to most manifestations of illness in the first place. The most important aspect of my role as physician is creating alliances with families, earning their trust over time and proving to them that they are not alone in raising their children.
I would gladly give back all the flowers and greeting card blessings offered on the one day of the year we are formally asked to celebrate motherhood if instead we could afford all mothers the things that truly make this role more sustainable, safe and potentially more joyful----paid family medical leave, affordable housing, common sense gun control laws, abortion rights, anti-racist and equitable medical care including the ability to birth safely and immigration reform, to name a few of the most important. When you truly invest in mothers today, we significantly increase the likelihood that their children tomorrow become fully capable adults, who thrive in and contribute positively to the communities they belong to.
The celebration of the second Sunday in May can bring a mix of sentiments, beyond the customary ones of gratitude, love and appreciation. There are many folks that struggle with deep sadness on this day for a myriad of reasons—they have lost mothers, lack a positive relationship with their mothers or are separated by large physical and emotional distances from them. If that is you, dear reader, know that I acknowledge the various experiences this holiday can evoke in us and my heart is with you.
And to all the readers that are mothers or contribute significantly (by your own definitions) to the life of a child, I hope that you always feel confident that your tireless, visible and invisible efforts invested into your children ultimately transforms this world into a much better place. In motherhood, the well-versed feeling of the days being long, but the years being so fleetingly short contains much bittersweet truth. My most coveted goal, that I also infuse lovingly into my clinical practice, focuses on finding universal ways for us all to enjoy this journey to the highest level possible. May we all continue to utilize our powerful voices and platforms to create action and advocacy for our fellow mama warriors, regardless of whether our daily realities are similar or different, in whatever small and big ways.
Please enjoy my recommendations this month that pay tribute to the role of mother and provide inspiration for how we can achieve long lasting equity in motherhood.
In solidarity,
Amna
